Next level communicators are more excited about what they are talking about than talking.
Next level communicators are more excited about what they are talking about than talking.
I just got back from a preaching conference, where the presenter right before me is a legend in the church world. Almost fifty years ago he started a church, and experienced great success as thousands eventually joined. A major part of what God used to grow the church was his ability as a next level communicator. Given all this, you can imagine my surprise when he spent his whole session with us talking about how we make too big of a deal out of public speaking, and how he has never cared for his role as a communicator. Did I mention this was a preaching conference? If you’ve heard him speak you would definitely say he overstated his point about not being that great of a public speaker, but on the other hand I wouldn’t use words like, “dynamic,” to describe him. So why did thousands of people jam into his church on weekends to hear him? What makes him a next level, transformational communicator is you always got the sense that he cared far more about what he was talking about than the fact he was talking. Boy, did I need this reminder.
As communicators we are delivering a message in the hopes of persuading our audience. We want to move people in a certain direction, and the art of communication is how we do that. But when we become more obsessed with communicating, than what we are communicating about, we will dilute the power of our message. For example, if you are a Christian and you are looking to point people to Christ in your message, the best way to do that is for people to see you really love Jesus. If you are in tech, making a presentation about the usefulness of artificial intelligence, the best way to persuade people is for them to feel you are all in on AI. If you are in sales, and want your audience to invest in your product, then the crowd must sense from you how this product has transformed your life. Never forget, moved people move people.
Love the art of communicating, just love it less than what you are talking about.
So how do we keep what we are talking about above talking? I have found these things to be helpful:
Engage your message by way of life. If Jesus is the core of what you are talking about, then he must be the core of how we live. Lose that and you lose transformational effectiveness as a communicator. The same is true across the board. If your message is justice oriented, then you need to be all in on justice not just on the stage, but off the stage. If your message is about the power of forgiveness, then this must be a theme of your life. Sure, you can fake it for a while, but our audience is far more perceptive than we think. As the saying goes, “real recognizes real”.
Say, “no”. Sometimes the best thing we can do as communicators is to turn down speaking engagements because what we are being asked to speak on is just not in our hearts.
Write fresh messages. I do a bit of conference speaking, and sometimes a message resonates so much with an audience, I will repeat it over and over again. If I’m not careful I can drift into autopilot as I’m speaking and come across as very mechanical. So to keep my own soul from getting stale, I need to go through the exercise of writing fresh messages around the same theme. When I do this, it’s amazing how much more engaged my heart is with the talk, and I guarantee you the audience feels that.
Be honest. Authenticity is some of our best currency as communicators. Being honest about failures, real about where you missed it, will establish a connection with an audience and better position you to move them, than feigning expertise. When Korie and I speak together on marriage, we are always quick to point out where we missed it, and afterwards we hear more about how those moments resonated with our audience than when we got it right. When we are honest about our own misses it keeps the focus on the message, and not on how good we are.
Next level communicators are courageous.
Next level communicators are courageous.
Sometimes you get to the point where enough is enough. Vernon Johns, pastor of Dexter Avenue Baptist Church (And the predecessor to Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.), and one of the most effective communicators of his time, reached that point when he read of a black man who was nearly beaten to death by a police officer who pulled him over for speeding. Filled with righteous indignation, Pastor Johns posted the title to that Sunday’s sermon on the marquee of the church, “It’s Safe to Murder Negroes in Montgomery”. His message title was so clear, so courageous, it got him summoned into court. When Reverend Johns was asked by the judge why he would preach on such an inflammatory topic, he responded, “Because everywhere I go in the South the Negro is forced to choose between his hide and his soul…Mostly, he chooses his hide. I’m going to tell him that this hide is not worth it” (From, Don’t Let Nobody Turn You Around, Justin Giboney).
I would have paid to plop down on one of Dexter Avenue’s wooden pews that Sunday.
Courage is doing what you have to do even when you don’t feel like doing it. Courage is the necessary currency every effective communicator must spend from time to time because we are in the persuasion industry. And to persuade someone is to not only offer a better path, but it also involves challenging their current choices which takes, you got it, courage. One of the things I try to always do when I give a message is to begin by showing the topic or passage I have chosen connects with the felt need of the audience. If you are a preacher, what makes “all Scripture…profitable” (2 Timothy 3:16), is each passage taps into a universal felt need we have, like freedom, significance, meaning, hope and so on. At the end of my message I want to transition from the felt need to the real need which is the gospel. But to get there I have to exercise courage by showing the people how they are going about trying to address the felt need is wrong (normally through idolatry), and how the gospel offers a better way. If you are not a preacher but you are trying to persuade your audience towards something, you will have to show them their current way is not the best, and this takes courage. Next level communicators are courageous.
Over the years, as I have sought to become more courageous, I have found the following to be helpful:
Go to war with people pleasing. This is not a box to be checked, but a tension to be managed. My desire to be liked as a communicator is greater than I’m comfortable admitting. As a pastor, what I say can have a direct impact on attendance and giving, so courage can be costly. What helps me with courage is to have an audience greater than the people in the seats, and for me that is God. When I work for and rest in His approval, this frees me from the approval of others. Another way to go to war with people pleasing is to be convinced in what you are offering to the people. When we as communicators truly believe what we are persuading people to is the better path, then this will heighten courage.
Thou Shall Not Be A Jerk. Ever had someone challenge or correct you, and it was said so well you felt loved? Or better yet, you didn’t even realize you were being corrected until long after the meeting, because of the grace in which they approached you? What the person did was still courageous, they just chose to sprinkle some sugar on their words. What you experienced was the Greek word for gentleness which means strength wrapped in velvet. You don’t have to come off like a jerk to make your point. In fact, if you do, you will probably unnecessarily fail in your mission to persuade people.
Don’t just call out, call up. Okay, really important here. Courage is not just giving people bad news, it must also show a better way. When we point out the wrong, but never give hope, we might as well have given our audience a terminal cancer diagnosis. Never leave the people hopeless. John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist church, and one of the great communicators in world history, said his aim every time he spoke was to overwhelm people with law, and rescue them with grace. Wesley didn’t just want to call people out, he also wanted to call people up.
What I’m Reading:
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Next level communicators listen way more than they talk.
Next level communicators listen way more than they talk.
As a fifty-three year old, I feel as if I am in my best season as a communicator, and I’ve thought a lot about why. Sure, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to get my reps in since I preached my first sermon almost thirty-six years ago. And yes, I’ve learned from some of the best, but as I have sat with the question in recent years as to why I am so much better today than I have ever been in my life (still with lots of room for improvement), I’m convinced the answer is found in my commitment to listen to the right voices. Next level communicators have learned to listen to two major voices, but before we get to those, let’s chat about a voice we listen to which will stunt our growth, and that is ourselves.
By default, we communicators will center ourselves when it comes to preparing and delivering a message. We each have a specific vantage point of life, formed by our gender, ethnicity, class, culture, experiences, lack of experiences and a host of other things. And when we are the only ones we listen to, our ability to connect to those different from us in the audience will be hindered. The sooner you come to terms with your limitations and biases, the better positioned you will be to see past them. No, don’t hear me to say we should not listen to ourselves, but we should not be the only ones we listen to.
Next level communicators have learned to listen to these two additional voices:
Listen to life. We have an advantage as presenters athletes don’t have- right when athletes are falling off the proverbial cliff, we are getting better. Athletes age like milk; communicators age like wine. Sorry athletes. Just the other day I heard one of the most powerful messages on legacy, and it was given by a seventy-six year old man. There was a wisdom, an ethos about him which held the room, and all of this came about because he had listened to life. He spoke to us from his successes and failures. Marriage and parenting should teach you something, and so should your journey as a single adult. Your growth in compassion, the cancer diagnosis you navigated, the funerals you sat in, along with a host of other things should be forming you into a speaker who can connect in one message with people standing on mountains and walking through valleys. Life tenderizes and helps to buff the rough edges off, allowing us to communicate from the heart. But…just because you’ve lived and listened to life, does not mean you will be a great communicator; it’s all about how you respond. As we age we will trend towards sweet or salty, compassionate or cynical. So don’t just listen to life, but lean in and truly glean from her lessons in a way which betters you.
Listen to people. The blessing and curse of our profession is we talk way more than we should. We must learn to listen to people outside of ourselves. The wealthy have something to teach me, and so do older, younger and women. I also need to listen and engage with people who live lifestyles I don’t agree with. How can I truly challenge people who live and think different from me, if I never listen and learn how they see and process things? It’s been said the problem with the church is they are asking questions no one is asking any more. Sad but true. By far, the most talked about series of messages I have ever given was a series called, Our Gay Neighbor. Before I began the series, I asked, “Hey, if you are living in the gay lifestyle and are comfortable sharing your story with me, I’d love to meet you.” This was the early two-thousands in Memphis, Tennessee, so I was shocked when a dozen or so people jammed into my office. Now almost twenty years later, that series is still talked about not because I listened to myself or the text alone, but because I listened to people actually engaged in that life. Writing those messages forced me to see faces, and I saw those faces because I heard their voices. No, listening to other people doesn’t change my biblical convictions, but it does allow me to connect and grow as a communicator.
What I’m Reading:
Hope in Times of Fear: The Resurrection and the Meaning of Easter, by Tim Keller.
Next level communicators are themselves and forget themselves.
Next level communicators are themselves and forget themselves.
One of the great challenges we all face as communicators when we first start out is we tend to focus so much on content we forget our personalities, making us really hard (unbearable even), to listen to. The reason this issue confronts us all is because of the uniqueness of what we do. Think about it, at no other time during the week are you asked to stand and talk non stop for at least a half hour…uninterrupted. Public speaking is a natural headwind to our unique makeup as humans. Then there’s the rookie mistake most of us make in our preparation where we become so obsessed with remembering our content, we forget to also deliver our natural selves. It’s kind of crazy, but to be a next level communicator we need to practice both the message and our personalities.
In 1946, James Stewart wrote a book on preaching, and what he has to say about the importance of personality is not just for proclaimers of God’s Word, but would be wise for all communicators to heed, “God has given to each man his own individuality, and standardisation is emphatically no part of the divine intention for your ministry. How intolerably dull it would be if every preacher had to be cut to the same pattern!… Do not think that personal idiosyncrasies are merely to be suppressed and levelled out. Be yourself.” Solid wisdom. Thanks James. If you are extroverted at home, be so on stage. If your humor tends to be dry, bring that to the event. If your emotions tend to be easily stirred, why would you shut that off completely? Listen, I get it. We have to pick our moments. We can’t tell jokes all or most of the time, and if you fall more to the sullen side of things, for all of our sakes, put a little pep in your step. We understand speaking will require moments which are unnatural to ourselves, but on the whole, may our audience leave having experienced us.
Why is my personality so pivotal to my effectiveness as a speaker? Because more than people connecting to content, people connect to people.
When thinking about unleashing “you” I have found the following to be helpful:
Add more training wheels. New speakers should listen to next level communicators…a lot. This period in your development is like putting training wheels on a bicycle, as someone else’s voice, approach and even mannerisms will help you find your way. But be careful, because you will absorb more than their content, you will also take on their personality. See the tension? We all need to grow in our gift, and one of the best ways to do that is by watching others, but too much of that will cause us to lose our unique personality and prolong the process of finding our voice, so what are we to do? Diversify who you watch. Instead of just one great communicator, add three to five.
Get to levels 4-5. There’s a wonderful tool called the communication pyramid. In essence it gives us the five levels of communication going from the most superficial to the most intimate: 1. Cliche; 2. Facts; 3. Opinion; 4. Emotive; 5. Transparency. For now, I want you to think of these five levels of communication as the journey from ineffective to next level speakers. When we start out we tend to hover at levels 2-3, which is all about content. People who give the news are taught to just give the facts, with no emotion. But as we grow as communicators we should get to levels four and five, where our true selves are unmasked, and effective, persuasive communication happens.
Get pre-talk feedback. By now you should know I’m big on this. What will immediately take your presentations from okay to good, and good to great, is to solicit input before you give the message, and one of the things you should ask people is, “Did you experience me when I practiced my talk?”
Forget yourself. I know, it sounds like I’ve just contradicted everything I’ve said, but I’m willing to bet you are most yourself when you are not thinking about yourself. And you are most yourself when you are not straining to remember what you want to say. Be yourself and forget yourself. I’ll close with what one of the greatest communicators in world history said, “What is the rule then? It is: be natural; forget yourself; be so absorbed in what you are doing and in the realisation of the presence of God … that you forget yourself completely. That is the right condition. That is the only place of safety. That is the only way in which you can honour God. Self is the greatest enemy of the preacher, more so than in the case of any other man in society. And the only way to deal with self is to be so taken up with, and so enraptured by the glory of what you are doing, that you forget yourself altogether” (D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Preaching and Preachers, page 264).
What I’m Reading:
The Gales of November: The Untold Story of the Edmund Fizgerald, by John U. Bacon.
Next level communicators use windows.
Next level communicators use windows.
I once heard a talk about integrity, and the need to be people of truth. To make his point the speaker shared a story where Mark Twain had stolen a watermelon, sat down and took a bite. It was at this moment where Twain said he felt a weird sensation come over him, so he got up, went back to the cart where he had taken the melon…and exchanged it for a ripe one! The audience roared in laughter. Why? Well, because we assumed the “weird sensation,” Twain felt was a sense of guilt for his theft. But we had the rug pulled from under us, as Twain returned the sour piece of fruit for a sweet one. What a masterful illustration, right? It has the element of surprise, along with humor, and sets the table to move right into application. In fact, if I were telling the story (Who am I kidding. I should say, “When I tell this story.”) I would wait for the laughter to die down and then I would say something along the lines of, “You know, while it’s more than okay to laugh at Twain, a lack of integrity is never something to giggle about.” And then I’d move right into applications of how we see people “stealing melons” today, whether it’s infidelity, dishonesty with taxes, a failure to disclose the whole truth and so on. A great illustration will take our presentations to the next level.
Today I want to talk about how to illustrate well. Whenever I put a talk together, I always use the scaffold of explanation/illustration/application to shape the body of my presentation. Explanations make the point. Applications are like mirrors, as they show the people themselves in the point. And illustrations are like windows where we help our audience to clearly see the point we have just made.
Boredom is the cardinal sin of communicators, so we have to learn the skill of illustrating well. Whenever you use illustrations, ask yourself the following:
What is the point I want to make? Remember the explanation/illustration/application structure is sequential. Before you get to the illustration, you have to make your point abundantly clear. Don’t think illustration first, and then try to make your point squeeze into the story; that’s no good. Begin with the point. Get certainty on that, and then search for the right story or anecdote. Back to the Twain story, we knew the speaker's whole argument centered around the importance of integrity. Now, once he made his point, he was ready to illustrate.
Have I set up the illustration well? Good explanations use repetition to make their point, and the last time you should repeat the point is right before the illustration. Think setup then punchline, but your punchline is the illustration, and your setup is the point. Comedians do this all the time. They will make a point and then move to some story or anecdote, which in our world is the illustration. By the way, I would encourage you to stay away from statements like, “And to illustrate this well, here’s a story…” That’s too mechanical. Just flow from explanation to illustration. A really good setup is all you need.
Does this illustration clearly make my point? Key word here is “clearly”. One of the mistakes we can make as communicators is find a really cool story and force it to fit into our talk because, well, it’s a really cool story that kind of, sort of, maybe makes the point. Remember, illustrations are windows to your point, and what we can’t have are foggy windows where the audience is left guessing what you are trying to say. It has to be clear…like crystal clear. If people are still trying to make sense of your analogy after you’ve moved on, then they are not listening to what you are currently saying. Write this down: A great illustration is one where the audience gets the point before you give the point.
Is this illustration concise? Remember, your point is the steak of your talk, and the illustration is the seasoning. Too much salt will ruin the steak. Be concise. A basic principle of communication is the more words one uses, the greater the likelihood of confusion. As you think through your message, explanations should be longer than your illustrations.
Are my illustrations varied? We tend to illustrate what interests us. If you’re into sports, don’t be surprised if most of your illustrations are from the sports world. Same for genres of movies, media, reading and so on. Left to myself, all of my illustrations would be historical, because I am a lover of history. The problem is my audience is varied, and not everyone enjoys everything I like. So one of my growth points as an illustrator is to vary my illustrations, thinking of women, younger generations and people who enjoy different things. This takes a lot of work, but it’s worth it. Remember, we will attract who we speak to, and if you only speak to people who share your interests, don’t be surprised if your audience is filled with people just like you, or if you only get invitations to speak at a certain kind of event. We should all be like Ray Charles, who could give you country, gospel and R&B all on the same album!
What’s my system for capturing illustrations? Everything is an illustration. Whenever we read a book, see a movie or take a walk, stories and anecdotes abound. I left the house once to go on a five hour road trip where I had to speak at an event. About an hour into the trip I realized I left my wallet at home and it was too late to go back to get it. Talk about being frustrated. I had needs coming up. How was I going to pay for gas, food, and what was I going to do if I got a flat tire or broke down? My frustration wasn’t over a lack of resources- I had plenty in my bank account. I was frustrated because I couldn’t access them. Then it hit me. I looked at my cell phone and realized I had something called “Apple Pay” on my phone, which allowed me to access the resources in my accounts and apply them immediately to my needs. I recall thinking, this would be a great illustration for a talk I was going to give on the Holy Spirit, and how He helps us access the abundant resources God has for us. Immediately, I made a voice note in an illustration file on my phone, and it’s become one of the most effective stories I have used. All I needed to do was to think illustratively, and have a system to capture. What’s your system?
What I’m Reading:
Note: Can I just tell you how amazing, Theo of Golden is! Talk about an illustration gold mine. I’ve never said this to you before, but you have to read this book. Best book I’ve read in fifteen years.
Alive: How the Resurrection of Christ Changes Everything, by Gabriel N.E. Fluhrer.
Next level communicators should never have perspective.
Next level communicators should never have perspective.
Mark Twain once joked how some German words were so long they had perspective (Don’t you just love Twain?). While his observation may be true of certain foreign words, they should never be true of communicators. No, I’m not saying we shouldn’t use long words, instead I want to warn against long explanations. When we explain things we should never have “perspective”.
Whenever I get an idea for a book, I’ll reach out to my agent, pitch the idea, and if he thinks there’s some potential he will send me what I have come to call, “the hated document.” I call it this because there’s a section where I’m asked to explain the essence of the book in fifty words or less. I like this about as much as I like the tablespoon of cod liver oil my mother used to give me when I was a kid. There’s a lot riding on this exercise. Publishers will decide to offer me a contract based on this section. There’s financial implications tied to how clear and compelling my explanation is. And I’ve had more than a few publishers over the years say their version of, “Not for us,” because they either didn’t get it or weren't moved by my idea.
The ability to explain well is everything for us communicators. While our illustrations and applications are the seasoning or sauce of our message, the point we make is the steak and potatoes…the substance. And the worst thing our audience could say about our talk was they didn’t get it. I’d much rather be wrong and clear, than right and confusing.
When I go about the work of explanation I have found the following to be helpful:
What does my audience need to know? Remember, the Greeks said one of the marks of a compelling speaker is they had logos, which is the idea of rich content. But this is the problem isn’t it? There’s a fine line between rich content and content overload. Because of this I ask myself the question, “What does my audience have to know about the point I’m making?” This is going to take a lot of self restraint, especially if you, like me, are a bit of a nerd when it comes to information. Most of what you research for a talk should not be mentioned in the message. On the flip side, if most of what you have studied does make it into the message I’m willing to bet my wife’s dog it’s a bad talk.
Let the people know why they need to know this bit of information. The most effective communicators I know use cheat codes. One of the best is when you are about to explain something that may appear irrelevant, you should try saying, “Now hang in there with me, this may seem out there, but I’m going to tell you exactly why this is critical to your__________ (work, every day life, marriage, etc).” With this one statement you’ve just bought yourself some time to carefully explain what they need to know.
Stay within your budget. When I write my messages they are five pages long, ten point font, space and a half. Each point I allow myself one paragraph to explain (on a rare occasion two paragraphs). Like a person working within a financial budget, as a wordsmith I work within an explanation budget. This forces me into simplicity as a communicator. Remember one of the laws of effective communication is we want to be simple, not shallow. The mark of brilliance is the ability to make the complex simple. Being economical with our words helps us with clarity. If there’s not a tension you feel when you put the message together over all the really good information you are leaving out, then you are probably way over budget and headed towards boring your audience.
Use proverbs, not rants. The more you explain the less clear and compelling you become. Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not minimizing explanation. In fact, your explanation is the most critical part of the body of your talk, because this is where the truth, the substance lies. What will keep you simple, clear and compelling is to use proverbs- short, pithy statements which carry a punch. A rant would be going on about the importance of learning from others mistakes instead of your own. A proverb would be, “Experience isn’t always the best teacher, but it is the only school a fool will attend”. In less than 20 words I have made a point. You could go on a rant about going through hard times and needing to accept what has happened to you and the importance of faith. Or you could use a proverb, “Faith doesn’t deny reality, it defies reality.” If you learn to condense your explanations into short, pithy statements known as proverbs, it will keep your audience from boredom and confusion, and will have them lean in to hear your point.
Explain with the least in mind. The best compliment I ever get is when a kid comes up to me after a talk and says their version of, “I got it. I liked it.” I’ve earned a few theology degrees over the years, but if I only explain with the highly biblical literate in mind, I’m cooked, especially in this age of declining biblical literacy. Now don’t hear me say we should only swim in the kiddie pool as communicators. We should not. I’ll say it again, we want to be simple, not shallow, and one of the ways we do that is to take rich, complex truths but say it in ways which are accessible to everyone in the audience. After all, isn’t this what the most powerful communicator in human history- Jesus- did?
What I’m Reading:
Drop everything and get, Theo of Golden, by Allen Levi. This will make my top ten list of the year…I’m sure of it.
Next level communicators use a lot of Vitamin A.
Next level communicators use a lot of Vitamin A.
If you’ve been getting my weekly posts for a while, you’ve heard me talk to you about a basic structure I use for every message. My main points will always begin with explanation, then move to illustration and finally application. If I have three points, then I will do this three times. Whether you use this or not, just know we are all wired naturally towards one of these three. Explainers are content driven communicators whose presentations are rich with information- what the Greeks called logos. Illustrators think in the language of stories and have a unique ability to make the content accessible while holding the attention of the audience. And then there are the appliers; these are people who show you how this information relates on a daily basis to our lives. As my grandmother would say, appliers put “shoe leather” on the message.
By the way, if you want to know how you are innately weighted as a communicator, all I would have to do is give you a topic to present and what are your first thoughts? If it’s, “I need to find some books and start research,” you’re probably an explainer. If your initial go to is to find a story or an analogy that relates, you’re most likely an illustrator. And if you freak out wondering how this topic is going to relate to people, then, you got it, you are an applier. The best communicators hold all three (explaining, illustrating and applying) in tension.
So today, I want to talk to you about my biggest weakness as a communicator, and give you some tips I’ve been using to grow when it comes to applying the message. Or to say it another way, I want to help us (Yes, that’s me included) learn how to use a lot of Vitamin A- application- in a way that really moves people to action.
Remember, our audience is asking questions as they nod their heads, take notes and engage our talks. One of the main questions you can always count on them asking is, “Now what am I supposed to do with this information?” I don’t care how good your content is, or how well you have explained the subject. If they don’t know what to do with your research, you’ve failed. I once had a young communicator ask me to give him some feedback on his message. He’s one of the best storytellers I know, and when I watched his talk it was filled with rounds of applause after rounds of applause. When I finished, I called him and gave some encouraging feedback and then I said, “You know, I will always leave one of your sermons feeling great, but not knowing what to do with what you just said.” I went on to explain how listening to his messages felt like going from one mountain top of a killer story to another, with no real learning or applying in between. If we can’t show how the content and story relates to the college student who just arrived on campus, or the single parent grinding it out and overwhelmed by life (along with a host of others), we have failed. As communicators we have to show how our content and stories apply to their lives.
As I’m growing in the area of application, I have found the following to be of help:
Don’t forget the “setup”. I’m talking “comedianese” here. In the world of comedy, they don’t rush to punchlines, but take their time giving what’s called the “setup”. The setup not only provides the right information, but it also builds a sense of tension making the punchline all the more effective. Applications are the punchline to our talks, and each point must have both a setup and a punchline. Now if you are naturally weighted towards application, you are going to have to really restrain yourself and do the work of providing meaningful content, along with an analogy or illustration to make your point come alive, before you get to the application or punchline of the point. And if you are a preacher, please know the power of our sermons is not in our applications, but in the Word…the content of the message. Before we as preachers draw people to themselves in application, we have to first draw them to the power source which is the Word.
Ask questions. It’s not our job to apply the point specifically to each person in the audience. All we need to do is to open the door for them to get clarity on how that point applies to their life, and the best way to do that is by asking questions. Just this past Sunday I was talking about conflict, and how everyone in the audience is either a shark or a turtle when it comes to conflict, which got a few laughs because the picture (illustration) resonated. And then I asked the question, “So which one of you is a shark? Which one is a turtle?” That question got them to see themselves in the point, and helped them to process the points I was making about navigating conflict. What opened everything up was a question.
Apply widely. Some of you speak mainly to educators, others to business people and professionals. Most of us as pastors speak to all of the above and much more. If you are a communicator who is talking to a specific audience in a specific field, application will be far easier for you, as opposed to we pastors who speak to so many different kinds of people. When I am thinking through applications as a pastor, I’m thinking of our most represented groups at the church: College students, married people, single professionals, and even different ethnicities. So, going back to my conflict message, I showed how this could apply to single adults who were roommates, or college students in the dorm and married couples.
What I’m Reading:
Truly: An Inspirational Journey through the Life of a Musical Legend, Lionel Richie.
With black history month approaching, pick up my book Grace to Overcome: 31 Devotionals on God’s Work through Black History. You’ll find it to be a source of inspiration and learning.
And as always, if this post has been encouraging please pass along to others and have them subscribe.
Next level communicators answer their audience’s questions before they ask them.
Next level communicators answer their audience’s questions before they ask them.
You’ve just finished your presentation and instead of making a beeline for the green room, you decide to stand down front and be available to whoever wants to come and hang (good call). One of the first people you interact with is a pleasant person who is not out to get you in the least. They seem to have enjoyed your talk, and raise an honest question with the purest of motives, leaving you to think they were probably not the only one to wonder this. As you respond you begin to beat yourself up for not addressing so obvious of a question in your talk.
Boy have I been there.
One of the challenges we have as communicators is we can become so content focused in our preparation we forget we are talking to real people who have important questions for each of our points. The difference between an okay talk and a next level one is great communicators anticipate their audience's questions and address them before they are asked. As I write these words I am just over a week away from giving an address on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., at a large evangelical institution. In recent years, allegations of King’s infidelity have become more and more widespread, with many in the evangelical community questioning the legitimacy of even honoring his legacy. With all of this swirling, it would be irresponsible of me not to address the question and just launch into the importance of his legacy.
If you are a preacher who is giving a biblical view of marriage and divorce you have to address the questions of what to do if a spouse is abused, or deserted? Or if your subject is the importance of diversity you have to know people will be triggered politically, and even personally. Anticipating their questions (and even objections), and offering an answer is not only responsible communication, but will deepen a connection by saying in so many words, “I see you.” And if you are trying to persuade people to use artificial intelligence you need to be able to answer questions like how this could affect certain industries where people can lose their jobs, or will AI contribute to a culture of thoughtlessness?
If you want to grow immediately as a communicator, anticipate your audience’s questions and answer them before they can even ask them. As easy as this sounds, it’s not. Here’s a few tips to help you:
State their question. After you make one of your points, stop and say, “Now some of you this brings up a major question which is…”. For example, if I am calling people to place their faith in Christ, I will say something like, “Now some of you are here thinking, ‘I am a good person, why do I need to trust Christ?’” I’ve just acknowledged their question by stating it, and then I will give a response.
Be brief. Don’t replace your point with a tangent. Answering key questions is important, but it will take discipline, because you never want the (needed) tangent to dilute the overall point you are making. Raise their question by saying, “Now some of you all are thinking,” and then give 2-3 sentences to address their question and get right back to your point. Sometimes I have said, “Now I know what I have just raised brings up a lot of valid questions, questions I don’t have time to answer. Here’s a resource I have found helpful in engaging these questions.” I’ve acknowledged their questions, and pointed them to answers all while being brief and staying on topic.
Be economical. What I mean by this is you can’t fill your whole talk by anticipating people’s questions. Remember the basic structure I have when I put a talk together is explanation, illustration and application. I will repeat this three times. What this means is I will at most raise people’s questions three times, because I am only making three points. Just as important is my rule in raising questions is I only want to do this with common questions people have. I don’t want to chase obscure ones. So as you prepare, ask things like, “What would be a common question the audience will have about this point?”
Raise questions by people you want in your audience. What you will discover over time is you will attract the kind of people whose questions you raise. Tim Keller was a pastor in New York City, and if you listen to his messages he is always raising questions skeptics would ask. Any wonder his church was filled with skeptics? People heard his questions and thought, “I have a friend who thinks this. I should bring her to church.”
What I’m Reading:
Celebrities for Jesus: How Persona’s, Platforms and Profits are Hurting the Church, by Katelyn Beaty.
With MLK day coming up, I edited a resource years ago you will find helpful called, Letters to a Birmingham Jail.
As always, if this weekly post has been helpful, please pass along by encouraging people to sign up here.
Next level communicators don’t speak for change
Next level communicators don’t speak for change.
Well, we do, but I’m talking about a different type of “change”.
I want to chat about a subject which makes all of us cross and uncross our legs- money. I know, you subscribe to this weekly post to get tips on how to speak better, so what in the world does money have to do with your growth as a communicator? A lot more than you think. If I could distill my thoughts into one sentence I would simply say the freer you are from money, the more effective you will be as a communicator. Money, paper, cash, influences us more than we’d like to admit. The great boxer, Marvin Hagler, once said, “It’s tough to get out of bed to do roadwork at 5 a.m. when you’ve been sleeping in silk sheets.” Hagler’s words resonate with so many because we know prosperity can deter our drive to get better.
When I was twenty-two, a church in Nebraska invited me to preach, put me up in a nice hotel and surprised me by giving me a check when I was finished. I was stunned. Later that day I called my father to tell him about getting paid to preach. I told him the amount and asked if this was what I could expect going forward? I’ll never forget his response, “Never expect it, son. Don’t plan or budget what you think you will get. Keep yourself free from money.” His words stuck to my bones, and decades later I have not veered from them. That’s right, I’ve never charged to speak, and I’m so glad I don’t.
To be clear, I do accept honorariums, as I should (I Timothy 5:17-18). But accepting honorariums and charging a fee are two different things.
Before I go into why I don’t charge to speak, you need to know this is a personal conviction of mine, and not for one moment am I presenting this as a have to. On top of that, event speaking is not my full time job. This is important because I work at a church which is very kind in how they care for me and my family, so I more than understand the different dynamics for those of you who public speaking at various places is your primary or sole source of income. What I want to offer is some wisdom I have learned over the years when it comes to speaking and financial compensation. If you are a person of faith, please spend considerable time praying, thinking and processing this with trusted mentors and friends. As you mull this over, consider the following reasons why I don’t charge:
Free from money = Free in my speech. One of the benefits of not charging a fee is it liberates me to focus on the message. When money is involved, the temptation to speak for a return engagement, or to be entertaining and not hurt people’s feelings looms large.
Life happens. Because Korie (my wife) and I have always treated outside speaking compensation as “found money,” when the inevitable event cancellation happens, we are not thrown at all in our budget, because we never counted on the money. Low registrations, bad weather, sickness, travel delays and cancellations and so much more, are just a part of life, and if you depend on the money you will find yourself in bad shape.
The Bible. No comment here, other than to say you should read, Micah 3:9-11 and Matthew 10:8-10. Next point.
Today’s amenities become tomorrow’s necessities. Okay, so Bryan charges a fee. I build that into the budget. My standard of living increases. The temptation to get certain things expands. Now I find I have to preach for the car payment, mortgage and so on. And before you know it speaking becomes a have to, and not a get to. The satin sheets have become the expectation.
A sharpened witness. Many are shocked to hear I don’t charge a fee when they invite me to their event. And I kind of like that. You know one of my favorite things to do? It’s to tell the local pastor or event host not to pay me at all. In an era where Christian leaders are being criticized (and too many times rightly so) for their perceived greed, we need more communicators who will be so free from money they lay down their right to receive compensation from time to time.
Okay, these are just a few thoughts for how I’ve tried to keep my heart “free from the love of money.” Again, take these words as wise counsel, and in no way prescriptive in how all communicators should live. Wherever you land on this, I am convinced the freer we are from money, the more effective we will be as communicators.
If this has been an encouragement to you, please pass along and tell your friends they can subscribe here.
Next level communicators rehearse gratitude.
Next level communicators rehearse gratitude.
Nothing is more odious than an entitled speaker. Over the years I’ve come across more speakers who are full of themselves than I care to count. One reached out to me to ask if they could come and speak at the church I was leading at the time. Those talks ended when I found out they required a travel allowance of fifteen hundred dollars an hour. I once sat in a wine cellar to hear a communicator whose books I devoured. He spoke to us as if we were children who should be pleased to be in the presence of such greatness. And I remember how sad I felt when I missed one of the most accomplished leaders in the world at a conference we were both speaking at. When I asked my wife how his session went, she said, “Terrible. He talked about himself, his books and the amount of money he made off one of them.”
Most of you on this list have probably never been invited to speak in some fancy wine cellar in Napa, or have written best sellers which earned you millions, but we don’t need these things to be entitled. Like an oak tree which begins with an acorn, the seeds of entitlement can be seen in little things like showing up late, going over the allotted time and fudging on the truth to make yourself look good. What we as communicators tend to forget is our audience can smell the slightest whiffs of arrogance, and the stench will spoil the message- the very critical message- we need to convey.
One of the most critical habits we communicators need to rehearse is the habit of gratitude. Cornelius Plantinga, in his book, Gratitude, says, “A sense of entitlement blocks gratitude…think about it. If I am so special that life owes me its good things, what is there to be grateful about? If life owes me, nothing is a gift” (page 40). And why should we be grateful? Writing to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul reminded them, “For who sees anything different in you? What do you have that you did not receive? If then you received it, why do you boast as if you did not receive it” (I Corinthians 4:7). Why should communicators practice gratitude? Because our gift of speaking was given to us by God.
But there’s another reason we should rehearse gratitude: It connects us to our audience. Remember communicating is connecting. If entitlement and arrogance pushes people away, then the opposite must be true: Gratitude and humility draws us closer to one another. One of my favorite communicators is also one of the most grateful people I know. When I asked him the source of his gratitude and humility he said, “Because when I was given this position, my predecessor told me I was not his first choice. I never forgot that.”
Here are some ways I rehearse gratitude as a speaker:
Say, “thank you”. Whenever I stand to speak as a guest, I always begin by thanking the host who extended the invitation. I try to name something specific about them I am grateful for.
Write, “thank you”. My father is a world class communicator. After he speaks somewhere, he comes home and mails a handwritten thank you note to the people who invited him. He’s been doing this for almost sixty years.
Stick to their theme. In my early days I violated this. My desire to be great would often conflict with the events theme. See, I wanted to speak on my best stuff, and oftentimes there wasn’t an alignment between my best and what they were asking me to do. So, I would go with what I was most comfortable with, which was disrespectful to my host. If you agree to the invitation, do what you are asked to do.
Stay within the time. One of the most honoring things we can do as communicators is to respect the time given to us to speak. Entitled speakers do what they want and violate this. Don’t do that. Rehearsing gratitude is respecting time.
Ask for feedback. A lot of the events I’m asked to speak are churches with multiple services. I make it a habit after the first service to say to the host, “Is there anything you would like me to change?” This shows a servant's posture and a grateful spirit.
Don’t charge. I’m going to write a whole post on this one. I don’t charge but only if I’m really pressed by the host will I give a “recommended fee”. Money is a powerful force which can lead us down roads of entitlement. Be very careful here. Again, a whole post is coming.
What I’m reading:
George Washington: A Life, Ron Chernow.
With black history month around the corner, don’t forget to check out my book, Grace to Overcome.