Next level communicators are more focused on the message than their fits
Next level communicators are more focused on the message than their fits.
They want to be heard way more than they want to be seen.
Kenneth Ulmer is one of the top three communicators I’ve ever heard. Some years ago, as he tells it, he was speaking somewhere up in the Pacific Northwest, where he was delivering a series of messages on the Christian life. After he had just preached his heart out, and was shaking hands with some of the people who came, he heard two individuals off to the side talking about his sermon. Only problem was they weren’t really talking about his sermon. They were having a bit of a back and forth about what he was wearing, and how excited they were to come back the next evening to see what he was going to have on. Disappointed, Dr. Ulmer made a decision that evening to intentionally tone down his outfits. He felt ashamed that what he was wearing had got in the way of what some in the audience was hearing.
If you were to walk into any church up until the last half century or so, you would see members of the clergy either wearing dark suits or black robes. Like judges in courtrooms, preachers of yester-year understood that while they played a key role in delivering the message, they did not want to get in the way of the message.
Oh how times have changed.
No, I’m not going to go on some rant about how you have to throw away your J’s, purge your closet of colors or discard your designer watches. That would be what Christians have long categorized as legalism. Instead, what I’m after is trying to get to the heart of what you, the communicator of a really important message, is truly after. Do you want to be seen as much as you want to be heard? Or is the message you are looking to impress on your audience so important that you take meticulous care to not let anything take away from what you’re trying to communicate.
Centuries ago, when Christianity was still in its infancy, one of its finest speakers said this: “And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God”- 1 Corinthians 2:1-5.
Yeh, but Bryan, Paul isn’t saying anything about his new custom made robe, or the fresh pair of kicks he refused to wear. Got it. You’re right. But don’t miss the point. Paul, in talking to a Greek culture that was obsessed with rhetoric and fancy speech, says that he intentionally did the counter-cultural thing by avoiding flowery language, so that his message could be heard. Like any next level communicator, Paul wanted the focus to be on the meat of the message, and not on anything else.
And the same should be true of us when it comes to how we dress.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not advocating for wrinkled clothes, dirty shoes, mismatched outfits or a disheveled appearance. Ironically, those things will run you into the same problem- a distracted audience who is as equally drawn away by your looks.
As speakers we must obsess over not being obsessed over.
But couldn’t a case be made for having a look which attracts people to our venues who would not come otherwise? I can see some validity here. But let me offer a few words of clarity and caution:
You can be in style without being distracting. More on this in a moment.
The old adage is true- what you catch them with, you have to keep them with.
I don’t have any empirical evidence for this, only what I have witnessed: Many of the most fashion conscious communicators I know, who walk out on stage wearing the latest and the loudest, also tend to be the most shallow and superficial communicators I know.
I guess the question comes down to, “Would you rather be looked at or listened to?”
Steve Jobs, one of the greatest communicators to ever do it, famously filled his closet with black turtlenecks and jeans. He did this for several reasons, like wanting to avoid decision fatigue, but he also did it because he liked the simplicity of the look. When the world tuned into Apple’s famous product reveals, no one was saying, “I wonder what Steve is going to be wearing.” Instead, their attention was focused on what Steve was going to say and show. And it should be the same with us.
Because I want to be heard and not seen, I’ve made the following decisions as it relates to my dress:
Don’t be a judge, just try dressing like one. What this means for me is my closet is filled with dark clothes like black t-shirts, black and blue pants and dark jackets. Like Steve Jobs, this does help me with decision fatigue, but I also want to be known more for what I’m saying, and the “product” I’m delivering, than what I’m wearing.
Remember, it’s a stage, not a runway. Models walk down runways, sporting their designer apparel. We communicators stand, armed with microphones, pointing people to a message. While I do have nice watches, jewelry and other things, I don’t wear them on stage. Instead I wear shoes with no designer names on them, and leave my favorite watches at home, choosing to sport a simple smart watch with a black rubber band. The stage is not our fashion show.
It’s okay to match the culture of the audience. From time to time I will wear something with a name brand on it like J’s, especially if that’s the culture of the church or organization I’m speaking to.
What I’m reading:
The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt.
And don’t forget to preorder my new book, Grace to Overcome. It releases August 19.
