Next level communicators are more focused on the message than their fits
Next level communicators are more focused on the message than their fits.
They want to be heard way more than they want to be seen.
Kenneth Ulmer is one of the top three communicators I’ve ever heard. Some years ago, as he tells it, he was speaking somewhere up in the Pacific Northwest, where he was delivering a series of messages on the Christian life. After he had just preached his heart out, and was shaking hands with some of the people who came, he heard two individuals off to the side talking about his sermon. Only problem was they weren’t really talking about his sermon. They were having a bit of a back and forth about what he was wearing, and how excited they were to come back the next evening to see what he was going to have on. Disappointed, Dr. Ulmer made a decision that evening to intentionally tone down his outfits. He felt ashamed that what he was wearing had got in the way of what some in the audience was hearing.
If you were to walk into any church up until the last half century or so, you would see members of the clergy either wearing dark suits or black robes. Like judges in courtrooms, preachers of yester-year understood that while they played a key role in delivering the message, they did not want to get in the way of the message.
Oh how times have changed.
No, I’m not going to go on some rant about how you have to throw away your J’s, purge your closet of colors or discard your designer watches. That would be what Christians have long categorized as legalism. Instead, what I’m after is trying to get to the heart of what you, the communicator of a really important message, is truly after. Do you want to be seen as much as you want to be heard? Or is the message you are looking to impress on your audience so important that you take meticulous care to not let anything take away from what you’re trying to communicate.
Centuries ago, when Christianity was still in its infancy, one of its finest speakers said this: “And I, when I came to you, brothers, did not come proclaiming to you the testimony of God with lofty speech or wisdom. For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much trembling, and my speech and my message were not in plausible words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, so that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God”- 1 Corinthians 2:1-5.
Yeh, but Bryan, Paul isn’t saying anything about his new custom made robe, or the fresh pair of kicks he refused to wear. Got it. You’re right. But don’t miss the point. Paul, in talking to a Greek culture that was obsessed with rhetoric and fancy speech, says that he intentionally did the counter-cultural thing by avoiding flowery language, so that his message could be heard. Like any next level communicator, Paul wanted the focus to be on the meat of the message, and not on anything else.
And the same should be true of us when it comes to how we dress.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not advocating for wrinkled clothes, dirty shoes, mismatched outfits or a disheveled appearance. Ironically, those things will run you into the same problem- a distracted audience who is as equally drawn away by your looks.
As speakers we must obsess over not being obsessed over.
But couldn’t a case be made for having a look which attracts people to our venues who would not come otherwise? I can see some validity here. But let me offer a few words of clarity and caution:
You can be in style without being distracting. More on this in a moment.
The old adage is true- what you catch them with, you have to keep them with.
I don’t have any empirical evidence for this, only what I have witnessed: Many of the most fashion conscious communicators I know, who walk out on stage wearing the latest and the loudest, also tend to be the most shallow and superficial communicators I know.
I guess the question comes down to, “Would you rather be looked at or listened to?”
Steve Jobs, one of the greatest communicators to ever do it, famously filled his closet with black turtlenecks and jeans. He did this for several reasons, like wanting to avoid decision fatigue, but he also did it because he liked the simplicity of the look. When the world tuned into Apple’s famous product reveals, no one was saying, “I wonder what Steve is going to be wearing.” Instead, their attention was focused on what Steve was going to say and show. And it should be the same with us.
Because I want to be heard and not seen, I’ve made the following decisions as it relates to my dress:
Don’t be a judge, just try dressing like one. What this means for me is my closet is filled with dark clothes like black t-shirts, black and blue pants and dark jackets. Like Steve Jobs, this does help me with decision fatigue, but I also want to be known more for what I’m saying, and the “product” I’m delivering, than what I’m wearing.
Remember, it’s a stage, not a runway. Models walk down runways, sporting their designer apparel. We communicators stand, armed with microphones, pointing people to a message. While I do have nice watches, jewelry and other things, I don’t wear them on stage. Instead I wear shoes with no designer names on them, and leave my favorite watches at home, choosing to sport a simple smart watch with a black rubber band. The stage is not our fashion show.
It’s okay to match the culture of the audience. From time to time I will wear something with a name brand on it like J’s, especially if that’s the culture of the church or organization I’m speaking to.
What I’m reading:
The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt.
And don’t forget to preorder my new book, Grace to Overcome. It releases August 19.
10 Best Books I’ve Read in 2025
10 Best Books I’ve Read in 2025
Any study will show what we already intuitively know and that is you can draw a straight line between next level communicators and their commitment to read or consume large amounts of context (I use the word consume because today we have audio books).
I caught onto this when I was just starting out as a young communicator. My dad always kept a book in his hand. To this day, he’s always recommending books he’s recently read, and he’s well into his seventies. My pastor's home office and church study were overflowing with books. D.A. Carson once told me he read around five hundred books a year (That’s more than one book a day!). One university president told me he has a personal library of over sixty-five thousand books and that he’s read them all. On and on I could go. In fact, I don’t know of a single communicator I respect who doesn’t read widely.
I think you get the point. If there’s one skill we should develop which will have a multiplying impact on our growth as communicators it’s reading and consuming vast amounts of content.
Twice a year (once at the end of June, and the other at the end of December) you can count on me sharing with you some of the best books I’ve read. So here goes:
Rejoice and Tremble, Michael Reeves
Reeves takes a deep dive into what it means to fear the Lord. While he’s an academic, his approach will stir your heart. I haven’t read a book this year that warmed my affections for Christ more than this one.
Lyndon Johson and the American Dream, Doris Kearns Goodwin
I don’t know why, but I’ve been on a Goodwin binge the last few months. This memoir on one of the most legislatively accomplished presidents in American history should be required reading for all leaders. If nothing else, read chapter eleven. While most biographers either place halos or horns on their subject, few hold the tension between hero and humanity like Goodwin does in this book. I see why she won the Pulitzer for this one.
The Familiar Stranger, Tyler Staton
Haven’t read a better book on the Holy Spirit than this one. So there’s that.
The Invention of Wings, Sue Monk Kidd
My wife Korie reads more than me, but it’s all fiction, while I’m all non-fiction. Last year I decided to ask her to recommend some fiction so we can have more talking points, and she’s yet to miss. While fiction, this book is based on actual historical people (the Grimke sisters) and events. Kidd does a masterful job of pulling us into the tension, intelligent, strong willed women felt in the antebellum south who were opposed to slavery. I found myself crying and hopeful while reading this book. Thanks Korie!
The Tiger Slam, Kevin Cook
If you’re looking for a mindless, enjoyable read while digging your feet into the sand on vacation then this is for you…especially if you love golf. Tiger Woods winning four consecutive majors beginning with the 2000 US Open and ending at the 2001 Masters Tournament, is arguably the greatest stretch of golf ever. I couldn’t put this book down while on vacation earlier this year.
One Lost Soul: Richard Nixon’s Search for Salvation, Daniel Silliman
Okay, you should pick up by now that I’ve got a thing for biographies on political leaders. This is a unique one though, as Silliman looks at Nixon through the lens of faith. His failure to rest in the saving grace of God led him to control everything to his own peril. My favorite part was Nixon starting a church service which met just about every Sunday in the White House. He would determine the guest list, who spoke and what they would speak on. He did all of this because he was tired of going to church and having the preacher work him into their sermon.
Authentic Ministry, Michael Reeves
Yep, I’ve read a few Reeves books this year. Michael takes Paul’s instruction to Timothy to, “watch your life closely” and develops a whole book around it. If you are in ministry in any capacity this is for you. It’s a short book which challenges what the author calls “theological puberty,” which is where a person loves theology and doctrine more than Jesus. Instead Reeves calls us to develop an inner life of prayer and delighting in God. As with his other book that I read this year, I felt as if I was worshipping while reading.
Framed: Astonishing True Stories of Wrongful Convictions, John Grisham and Jim McCloskey
Dad recommended this one to me and I’ll say two things about it: 1. I hate this book and love this book. 2. I want my sons to stay in the house for the rest of their lives and avoid any possibility of even getting confused with a crime. Gut wrenching. Terrible. Somewhat redemptive. We’ve got to do better as a country.
Last of the Lions, Clarence Jones
In February of 1960, Clarence was a young lawyer living the dream in Altadena, California (his house had a palm tree in it), when Dr. King showed up at his house and asked him to lead their legal efforts. Oh, and he’d have to do it for free since he couldn’t afford to pay him. Clarence turned him down, and then made the mistake of going to church and hearing Dr. King preach. He knew what he had to do. When it was all said and done, Clarence would take the job, go onto smuggle King’s famous Letter from a Birmingham Jail and deliver to the press, write early drafts of King’s iconic, I Have a Dream speech and negotiate the release of so many who had been thrown in jail protesting for freedom. What a reminder that fulfillment doesn’t come from money or possessions.
Cry the Beloved Country, Alan Paton (re-read)
Hard to believe this book was written in 1946, two years before apartheid would become the law of the land in South Africa. A beautiful story of loss and hope across the ethnic divide.
What are some great books you’ve read this year? Shoot me an email and I’d love to add to the list. Oh, and don’t forget to preorder my book on Amazon, Grace to Overcome, which comes out August 19.
The 1 thing next level communicators have in common with the teaching of Jesus.
The 1 thing next level communicators have in common with the teaching of Jesus.
When I think about the communicators (and leaders for that matter) who really move and inspire me, they all have one thing in common- conviction…a deep seated belief in what they are talking about, that moves you deeply.
I’ve been reading this week Doris Kearns Goodwin’s Pulitzer prize winning book, Lyndon Johnson and the American Dream. No matter where you may fall politically, what cannot be denied is the enormous impact President Johnson made on America. Between 1965-1968, he introduced 500 programs. His influence can still be felt today through such legislative gains as The Civil Rights Act, Voting Rights Act, Medicare and Medicaid. As I’ve been reading Goodwin’s book, I’ve often asked myself the question, How did a man from the deep south convince so many other southern lawmakers (among others) to back bills which ran counter to what they and their constituents believed? The answer of course is one word- conviction. Listen to what President Johnson says: “What convinces is conviction. You have to believe in the argument you are advancing; if you don’t, you’re as good as dead. The other person will sense that something isn’t there, and no chain of reasoning, no matter how logical or elegant or brilliant, will win your case for you” (Lyndon Johson and the American Dream, pages 157-158).
And conviction is what made Jesus stand out. His Sermon on the Mount is widely regarded to be one of the most, if not the most, returned to sermons for people from all walks of life. But for all of Jesus’ pleadings to turn the other cheek, love our enemies and do to others what we would want them to do to us, what is hardly mentioned is the response of his audience to the message: “And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowd was astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching as one who had authority and not as their scribes”- Matthew 7:28-29.
The original language of Matthew’s gospel is Greek, and the Greek word for authority is a word which means conviction. In the New Testament there are several Greek words which convey the idea of authority. One is the word dunamis, from which we get words like dynamite. As you can imagine, dunamis has to do with explosive power. This isn’t the word that was used to describe Jesus’ teaching (which is the Greek word exousia). So what is the difference between dunamis and exousia? Dr. Tony Evans says in the game of football, the players have dunamis- an explosive kind of power which can tackle and even injure a person- while referee’s have authority. The football players use their dunamis to knock other players down. The referees use their exousia to at times put players out.
Now let’s think about referees and exousia, or authority. Ever seen a referee kind of sort of blow their whistle, not really sure if they should or shouldn’t have? Nope. I sure haven’t. When the referee or the umpire blows the whistle, throws the flag, gives the technical or calls the strike, they do so with conviction, conveying a sense of assuredness. Or to say it another way, referees and umpires believe what they are communicating. What’s more is when they do make their calls, they always elicit some sort of response, often from both teams. Players complain, baseball managers run out to scream in umpires faces, and fans boo or cheer.
That’s what conviction does…it moves people, making them feel something.
Next level communicators authentically use conviction to not only connect with their audience but to also persuade them in a certain direction.
Now here’s what I don’t mean by conviction. Conviction is not yelling. Conviction is not animation. Conviction is not sliding into character and being someone you’re not.
Instead, conviction is this eerie sense that I’m all in on everything I’m talking about.
5 Thoughts on Conviction:
Manufacturing conviction is hypocrisy, so don’t even try.
Don’t speak for money or notoriety; speak what you believe and feel.
Get the message in your heart before it comes out of your mouth. One of the exercises I do many weeks when I’m preparing to preach is I will take the text I’m going to communicate, along with my prayer journal and pen, and just write devotionally what I’m seeing in the Scripture. I have found this to be a helpful exercise to get it in my heart before it comes out of my mouth.
Conviction does not mean perfection. You can be all in on the message you are speaking, and have failed to practice it as well. All of us have been there. In fact, I have found it helpful to admit this to the audience as I’m speaking. Remember, conviction is often developed through failure.
Conviction should be dripped not poured. Now of course, we should believe the whole message, but what I am getting at here are those moments in the message where we step away from the notes and bare our souls. It’s here we have to be careful though. Nothing ruins a ball game more than the referees blowing the whistle the whole time. And nothing will fatigue your audience more (And you!) than one long heart felt conviction moment. I know communicators like this. I’ve sat under these kinds of messages. I always leave saying to myself, “I stink”. That’s not what you want. Spend your conviction moments wisely.
August 19th is fast approaching. What is the big deal about August 19th? It’s when my new book, Grace to Overcome, releases. You will find it helpful as you look for stories to communicate better. Be sure to preorder.
“3” is the Magic Number for Next Level Communicators
“3” is the Magic Number for Next Level Communicators
Simplicity, and not shallowness, should be one of the primary aims you strive for in each of your talks. Albert Einstein once said, “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.” And the economist, E.F. Schumacher famously said, “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex. It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction” (From the book, Small is Beautiful). A touch aggressive for my taste, but you get the point.
Or as the really aggressive acronym KISS says, Keep it simple stupid.
In this post I want to give you one reason, and one tip behind the why and how of simplicity. Understand and utilize this principle, and you will see immediate gains as a communicator.
The Why Behind Simplicity
Ever been anxious before a presentation? Sure you have. I’m three and a half decades into this, and I still get anxious. In fact, if I don’t have a touch of anxiety before I speak that’s normally a really bad sign. But here’s the thing: The science reveals it’s not just we as communicators who experience anxiety related to our talks, so does our audience.
Dr. Paul King is a scholar at Texas Christian University in the field of communication studies. He has researched what has come to be called the, “state anxiety in listening performance.” When an audience receives too much information from the communicator they go into something called “cognitive backlog,” which is like putting more and more weights on a bar at the gym. King reasons that this works against the communicator: “As more and more stuff you need to remember piles on, it creates greater and greater pressure and pretty soon you’re going to drop it all.” Specifically, Dr. King studied graduate students and discovered that on average they prefer to take one three hour class a week, as opposed to three fifty minute classes per week. Guess which format leads to better grades? Breaking the class down into three fifty minute segments. His conclusion is the shorter the talk, the better the chances are the listener will retain the message. What King says the science is pleading for is simplicity.
This is why TED Talks, which are the most watched presentations in the world, demand speakers go no longer than eighteen minutes.
Now I’m not arguing you should aim every presentation for eighteen minutes, but the tighter your presentation, the better chance we have at truly inspiring our audience. I mean think about it, some of the most moving speeches in world history were simple, not shallow; tight not wandering. John Kennedy’s inaugural address is one of the most famous in U.S. history, and it was fifteen minutes. The next year, when JFK spoke at Rice and challenged America to put a man on the moon by the end of the decade, that address was seventeen minutes. And Dr. King’s, I Have a Dream speech, was around seventeen minutes. These speeches and more were simple, substantive, creative and compelling. And they help us see this critical point in establishing simplicity in our talks: The best messages are not only about what we put in them, but what we leave out.
How Do I Become Simpler as a Communicator?
The short answer is what Carmine Gallo calls, “The Rule of Three”. In essence, Gallo says that people can remember three pieces of information really well. Any more than three pieces of information, or points, will bring about the law of diminishing returns. More than seven and your audience will surely reach “cognitive overload”.
Look around and you will see the rule of three at work in some of the most important, transformational ways imaginable. The Declaration of Independence is one of the most referenced documents in world history. A major reason for this is Jefferson’s use of the rule of three when he wrote that America was to be about, “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” In literature there are the three little pigs, three musketeers and three wishes granted to Aladdin. Three medals are awarded in Olympic contests. Jesus received three gifts from wise men. And then there’s the holy trinity of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. So there’s that.
So if you want simplicity, refrain from having more than three points to your presentations. Remember, your audience’s anxiety will only spike the more info you throw at them.
Practical Suggestions for Achieving Simplicity:
Front End Feedback. One of the mistakes we make as communicators is we either don’t get regular feedback, or it comes on the back end of the talk, when it should happen on the front end, before we give the message. The church I serve has a team of people who reviews my manuscript about three days before I give the message, and gives me honest feedback both on substance, and how it will come across to different groups of people (all represented on the feedback team). I want to encourage you to take the initiative to regularly solicit feedback before you give a presentation, and especially ask if the talk is simple, or if there is too much information.
Commit to the Rule of Three. Even if it’s just for a season, I think it’s great for every communicator to refuse to allow themselves to go beyond three points in their message. This discipline will force you to tighten things up, and will drive you towards simplicity.
Shorten Your Messages. Now you should know by now I’m a big believer in manuscripting (not transcripting). One of the ways this helps me towards simplicity is I set a page limit every time of five pages, space and a half with ten point font. I’m currently in the process of looking to knock off a quarter of a page in my talks, to force me into simplicity. What I have found is the older I’ve gotten as a communicator, the easier it is for me to go longer given the breadth of my life experiences, reading and information gained. And longer is the enemy of simplicity. If you don’t manuscript, make it your aim to knock five minutes off of your messages, this too will drive you towards simplicity.
Okay, that’s three practical suggestions, so I’ll leave it at that!
If you haven’t done so already, preorder my book, Grace to Overcome, which releases August 19th, here. It’s a book of over thirty of my favorite stories and will help you become a better communicator.
The 1 Thing Next Level Communicators Do When They Make Mistakes
The 1 Thing Next Level Communicators Do When They Make Mistakes
Any athlete who plays for a prolonged period of time will have injuries. And any communicator who speaks consistently will make mistakes…not singular, but plural. What injuries are to athletes, mistakes are to communicators.
I was just asked about my most embarrassing moments as a speaker by a young communicator. His question was prompted by a “hiccup” that went viral from a preacher not too long ago. I answered this young man with something like, “Thank goodness when I was just starting out they didn’t have YouTube, and the internet was not as popular, because all my major blunders are on cassette tapes and CD’s.” Then a few days later I made one of the biggest blunders in my thirty-five years of public speaking.
You just can’t make this stuff up.
I’m guessing you want to know. Okay, here goes. I was speaking at a church of about fifteen thousand. And everything is clicking. The people are into it. I’m into it. I’m feeling a little perspiration across my forehead, which is always a good thing. And then, at the height of emotion, I read this verse from the Bible, “This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, for then you will make your way prosperous and then you will have good…”
If you grew up in the church, you know what comes next since this is one of the more popular sections of Scripture: “Success”. Well, with great passion I say, “SEX,” as in, “...for then you will make your way prosperous and then you will have GOOD SEX”.
Oh boy.
The audience went wild.
And no, I won’t tell you the name of the church. And even if I did, I made sure they didn’t post it online. So don’t even try.
Okay, so now that I’ve established I’m shoulder to shoulder with you in the major- mistake-as-a-communicator-department, what in the world do we do when these sorts of things happen? We own it, that’s what we do.
What does it look like to own our mistakes when, not if, they inevitably happen? Let me offer the following:
Address it immediately. When I had my blunder, there was a split second where I went into self-talk, that went something like this, “Do I act like it didn’t happen, and just keep going? No. I have to stop the message and address this…now.” The reason I made that decision had everything to do with the audience's reaction. The laughter was just too next level, too wide spread for me to act like it didn’t happen. And this goes the other way as well. Sometimes our mistakes are no laughing matter, and the audience will let us know as well. Their peculiar silence will cue us to the fact that something just went wrong. When I was telling my wife what I did, after she finished laughing hysterically, she said, “Please tell me you didn’t just move past this, but actually called attention to it?” She was relieved when I told her I did address it.
Respond the way the audience responds. Now I know we as communicators will not always be afforded the privilege of knowing in the moment when we’ve screwed up (more on that later), but in those times that we do, we need to let our audience be our guide as to how we respond. In my case, the audience's laughter at my “GOOD SEX” comment signaled that it was appropriate for me to begin laughing, which I did. In laughter I said, “I can’t believe I just said that,” and then riffed appropriately. After about forty-five seconds of being off script, it was okay for me to move on. On the other hand, if your mistake is no laughing matter, then neither should you laugh. Adjust your tone and demeanor to match the mistake.
Apologize Appropriately. Whether you catch it in the moment, or after the fact, I want to encourage you to apologize appropriately. First, an acceptable apology takes ownership: “I’m sorry, I…”. Not, “I’m sorry you took it that way,” followed by a list of excuses. Second, an acceptable apology names the offense specifically. And finally, a real apology makes the big ask, “Will you forgive me.”
Invite others in. When you don’t catch the mistake, sometimes you will know by the gravity of it that you need to circle back the next week (i.e., if you are a pastor), or send out some sort of communication to make amends. But sometimes you don’t really know. In this case pay attention to your email inbox, and solicit at least a dozen opinions from people of various generations, and cultures who were in the audience. Let that be your guide.
Press delete. For sure, literally. Have the production people get rid of it before it goes online. But also, figuratively. They say in golf that no matter how good or bad your last shot was, you’ve got to move onto the next one.
And for the record, I only got one text from this audience about my blunder. I did get plenty of feedback on how encouraged they were by the message. Now, how exactly my message encouraged their marriages, I’m not sure? LOL.
Hey, I’ve got a new book coming out that I think you as a communicator should buy. Why? Because it’s thirty-one of the best stories I’ve come across. These stories will help you as a communicator. My new book is called, Grace to Overcome, and it comes out in August. You can preorder here.
Next level communicators use Post-it notes on their audiences' brains.
Next level communicators use Post-it notes on their audiences' brains.
Let me explain…
In February of 2009, the billionaire founder of Microsoft, Bill Gates, took to the stage and addressed some of the biggest leaders in the tech industry. Not long into his talk he announced that Malaria is spread by mosquitoes. Hardly new information, right? What he did next would go down in history as one of the most attention grabbing things a speaker has ever done. Gates pulled out a jar filled with mosquitoes, told his listeners he was going to let them loose, because as everyone knows, he said, only poor people get malaria. Seeing he had the auditorium locked in, he said he was just kidding, and besides, the mosquitoes were malaria free. Gates would go on to give an empathetic talk on how millions of people die every year from the disease, and what we could do about it.
This was a moment people would never forget. Communication experts would call this the moment where Bill Gates hooked his audience. Neuroscientist’s refer to what Gates did as an “emotionally charged” event. And if we are trying to persuade our audience to do something, then we as communicators have to figure out ways to create these emotionally charged moments in our talks.
The science behind emotionally charged moments
Meet John Medina, a molecular scientist and an expert on the effects of emotionally charged events on the brain. He says, “An emotionally charged event is the best-processed kind of external stimulus ever measured. Emotionally charged events persist longer in our memories and are recalled with greater accuracy than neutral memories. The amygdala is chock-full of the neurotransmitter dopamine, and it uses dopamine the way an office assistant uses Post-it notes…Because dopamine greatly aids memory and information processing, you could say the Post-it note reads, ‘Remember This!’” (John Medina, Brain Rules, page 80).
Real heady stuff I know (pun intended), so let’s bring it down a notch. Some of us can tell you exactly where we were when the planes hit the World Trade Center towers on 9/11. My parents talk in detail about what they were doing when they heard the news of Dr. King’s assassination. My grandparents could talk vividly about where they were and how they were feeling when they heard Pearl Harbor was bombed. And all of us as parents can remember with great clarity the events of our children being born. Why do we remember these things, and struggle to recall others? Because all of the moments I just shared with you are what John Medina calls “emotionally charged” events; and when they happened a Post-it note was stuck to our brains.
Yeh but how?
I have found the following categories to be helpful in creating emotionally charged moments so that our audiences can connect to our talks:
Sticky statements. President John Kennedy once proclaimed we will put a man on the moon. Stewart Brand made a bold prediction in his talk that, “We will get wooly mammoths back.” And I once said in a message, “The church doesn’t need old people”. I let that hang a bit, created a sense of panic, and then finished by saying, “But we do need patriarch’s and matriarch’s.” Wordsmith the right statement, so that it elicits some kind of feeling, and you’re on your way to slapping a Post-it note on the listener's brains.
Compelling images. In 1996, a black woman by the name of Keshia Thomas used her body to shield a member of the KKK, as a mob was gathering to harm him. I gave a talk on forgiveness, and how the blood of Christ covers us. I then set up the image, and at just the right moment had the audience look at it. “Quiet” doesn’t even begin to describe the room. It was an emotionally charged event, helping to persuade the audience.
Personal stories. In a previous post we talked about the science of stories and their effect on the brain. Nothing like a compelling, well told story.
Props. The right prop can provoke humor, or deep contemplation and most importantly both. Props may not be your thing, but great communicators never forget the various learning styles in the room, and they work hard to connect to as many of them as possible.
What I am reading
Why We Love Football, Joe Posnanski
Help is Here: Finding Fresh Strength and Purpose in the Power of the Holy Spirit, Max Lucado
Next level communicators have figured out the way to activate the “save button” in their audience’s brain.
Next level communicators have figured out the way to activate the “save button” in their audience’s brain.
Is this a safe place for me? I hope so. Okay, here’s my confession: My all time favorite movie is Titanic. I saw it eight times in the movie theater. It was my second date with Korie- the woman I’m now married to. I stood in line at midnight at the Tower Records in Pasadena so I could buy it on VHS. I can’t see you, but I’m feeling a little judged right now. And if you are judging me, keep in mind that it’s estimated some two hundred and eleven million people in the United States have seen the movie at some point in their lives.
So here’s my question: How in the world did James Cameron (the movie’s director) take an old, really familiar historical tragedy and turn it into one of the most successful box office hits of all time? Simple. Cameron used the art of novelty to hook us.
Novelty has to do with unveiling information that is either completely new to the audience, offers a fresh way to solve an old problem or is simply presented or packaged differently. In James Cameron’s case he chose the latter. His elevator speech when he was trying to sell Titanic was he wanted to create Romeo and Juliet on a boat (Jack and Rose). It was through this love story that Cameron presented to us the tensions of class and the Edwardian period during this time. He didn’t just present these real forces, he repackaged them in the form of a romance. In addition to this love story, James talked the studio into paying for an expedition several miles below sea so he could film the actual wreckage of the Titanic, and show it to audiences in the opening scenes, where for many (myself included) this was their first time seeing the sunken ship. And the result of this fresh packaging was that the movie grossed over two billion dollars worldwide.
Want to hook your audience? Use novelty.
The Science Behind Novelty
When we see or learn something new, or have an old truth presented to us in fresh ways, it releases a chemical in our brains called dopamine. Dopamine is what we experience in a new romantic relationship, or when we get to the next level of a video game. It’s also what leads people down the road of drug addiction. Dopamine has also been called our brain’s “save button”. Martha Burns, assistant professor at Northwestern University says this about dopamine and learning, “A big part of the answer to why some of your students hold onto the information you teach and others do not has to do with a little chemical in the brain that has to be present for a child (or an adult) to retain information. That chemical is called ‘dopamine’...I like to refer to dopamine as the ‘save button’ in the brain. When dopamine is present during an event or experience, we remember it; when it is absent, nothing seems to stick” (Talk Like Ted, Carmine Gallo, page 116).
I think you see the point. If we want our presentations to stick, we have to trigger dopamine. And the way to unleash this chemical is to either present new information, or familiar content in fresh ways.
I have found the following to be helpful in triggering the audience’s “save button”:
Use vivid illustrations.
Use physical props to underscore the main points of your message.
Carefully wordsmith the big idea of your talk.
Employ humor.
I’m coming out with a book of stories in August that will help you in your communication. You can preorder the book here.
What I’m reading:
Framed: Astonishing True Stories of Wrongful Convictions, John Grisham and Jim McCloskey.
Next level communicators use “cheat codes” in every presentation.
Next level communicators use “cheat codes” in every presentation.
Note: If you are unable to see the colors visit this link here
In last week’s post we talked about how public speaking is one of the most unnatural things we can do. There’s so much distracting us from our authentic selves, but the best communicators work really hard to make it look easy. Today, I want to share with you a cheat code I use in every message which helps to unleash my authentic self.
You’re looking at my message notes from a recent talk I gave at our church. I know it’s a lot to take in with all of the different colors, underlinings, and personal notes. While I don’t share this with you in the hopes that you mimic my system, I do want to walk you through my system so you can see how this frees me to be my most true and best self on stage.
What’s up with all the colors?
The opening text is the passage of Scripture I’m teaching on.
Below the text you will see my personal notes.
In the text of Scripture you see the colors red, blue and green.
Red is my cue that this is the first verse that comes up in my presentation. I choose red first because when I think of America’s colors it’s always red, white and blue, with red being first. Green is always the second verse or verses which appear in my presentation. And blue is the last verse or verses which are in my talk.
These colors are important because when it’s time for me to go to my notes, I don’t have to search for where I am in the text. The color’s leap out at me and help to simplify things.
In my notes you will see a lot of yellow. So what does this mean? When something is in yellow it’s a reminder to me that the same exact text will be on the screen for the audience to see. This is a really important cheat code I’ve had to learn the hard way to incorporate: Never wait on the production people to put your message notes on the screen. You could be waiting a long time. Have them with you. Also, when something is in yellow, it’s a reminder for me to say, “Look with me on the screen.”
There’s a few places in my notes where you will see regular, unhighlighted text after the yellow. What’s up with that? It is a reminder for what comes immediately after what’s on the screen in my presentation. This just helps to jog the memory.
Any text that’s bold, underlined and highlighted yellow reminds me that those are the major points in my outline.
The regular bold and underlined in the text represent verses I need to reference, but aren’t really a major part of the presentation.
I know it’s a lot to take in, and may not make much sense to you, but that’s kind of the point, right? Utilize a system which works for you, so that you can be as comfortable as possible on stage.
The Lord said to Moses, “Cut for yourself two tablets of stone like the first, and I will write on the tablets the words that were on the first tablets, which you broke. 2 Be ready by the morning, and come up in the morning to Mount Sinai, and present yourself there to me on the top of the mountain. 3 No one shall come up with you, and let no one be seen throughout all the mountain. Let no flocks or herds graze opposite that mountain.” 4 So Moses cut two tablets of stone like the first. And he rose early in the morning and went up on Mount Sinai, as the Lord had commanded him, and took in his hand two tablets of stone. 5 The Lord descended in the cloud and stood with him there, and proclaimed the name of the Lord. 6 The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, 7 keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.” 8 And Moses quickly bowed his head toward the earth and worshiped. 9 And he said, “If now I have found favor in your sight, O Lord, please let the Lord go in the midst of us, for it is a stiff-necked people, and pardon our iniquity and our sin, and take us for your inheritance.” [1]
YOUR GOD IS TOO SMALL: GILLIAN LYNNE IN THE 1930S (Royal Ballet, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, Cats/Phantom of the Opera).
GOD’S NAME. WHAT WE NAME GOD.
“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us”- A.W. Tozer, The Knowledge of the Holy. Here’s my argument for our time in God’s Word today: When we think better about God, we will live better for God. Text all about God’s name…why they are on the mount:
“The LORD descended in the cloud and stood with him there, and proclaimed the name of the LORD”- Exodus 34:5. And what exactly is His name? Look at the next two verses: “The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, ‘The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation”- Exodus 34:6-7. THE CONTEXT- ISRAEL BREAKING COVENANT.
WHAT’S GOD’S NAME? COMPASSIONATE- EXODUS 34:6.
- ISRAEL’S SIN- GOD/MOSES GONE FOR WEEKS. UNCARING.
- “What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?”- Psalm 8:4.
- “But Zion said, ‘The LORD has forsaken me; my Lord has forgotten me.’ Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands”- Isaiah 49:14-16.
- “When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd”- Matthew 9:34. OCBF: MYLES GETTING BLOOD DRAWN!!!
WHAT’S GOD’S NAME? STEADFAST LOVE- EXODUS 34:6-7.
- ALI- “When we die if we’ve got more good marks than bad, we go to Paradise. If we’ve got more bad marks, we go to Hell. I’ve done a lot of bad things. Gotta keep doing good now. I wanna go to Paradise”- Muhammad Ali. HESSED
- HESED: “When the person whom I have the right to expect nothing from gives me everything”- Michael Card, Inexpressible: Hesed and the Mystery of God’s Lovingkindness. WOMAN WHO CHEATED…
- I CAN’T NOT LOVE YOU…
WHAT’S GOD’S NAME? PATIENT AND PARDONING- EXODUS 34:7-8.
CONCLUSION- VERSE 8. OUR RESPONSE TO BEING FORGIVEN..
- IF I BABYSIT YOUR KIDS ONE NIGHT FOR FREE, YOU’D THANK ME.
- IF I PAID OFF YOUR CREDIT CARD, YOU’D WRITE ME A THANK YOU NOTE AND GIVE ME A GIFT.
- BUT IF I PAID OFF YOUR MORTGAGE AND ALL YOUR DEBTS, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? YOU’D NEVER STOP THANKING ME, AND THERE’S NOT MUCH YOU WOULDN’T DO FOR ME IN RESPONSE.
[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles, 2016. Print.
Next level communicators work hard to look authentic.
Next level communicators work hard to look authentic.
Public speaking is one of the most unnatural things a person can do. Think about it, you’re standing in front of a group of mostly strangers. You have a million things going through your mind, like what comes next in my presentation? When and what is my next slide? I hope this joke or story lands. How much more time do I have left? Oh shoot, I have way less time than I thought, so what part(s) do I need to cut out? With all of these thoughts and more, it’s easy to be distracted from your normal authentic self, and become a character, a complete stranger to how your friends and loved one’s experience you.
It bears repeating: Next level communicators work hard to look authentic. And what is authentic? It’s how people experience you in conversation. By “conversation,” I’m not saying your public speaking should be devoid of authority, or moments of passion. I am saying that when you have ended your presentation one of the things people leave with is a sense of connection with you. Remember, the best speakers establish a connection between themselves and their audience, and you can’t do this without authenticity.
Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple, is remembered as one of the most compelling communicators in history; but it was not always this way. Before his first televised interview he was so nervous he asked for directions to the bathroom because he thought he was going to be sick. A few years later, in 1984 as Apple was preparing to launch a new line of computers, Jobs can be seen rigidly holding onto the lectern, chained to his notes. All of this was a far cry from his witty and provocative true self. Over the years, Steve got much better. How? Carmine Gallo, who has spent years researching the communication skills of Steve Jobs tells us, “Jobs built a reputation for practicing relentlessly for a presentation- many, many hours over many, many weeks. Eventually Jobs was considered among the most charismatic business leaders on the world stage. What many people fail to realize is that Jobs made it look effortless because he worked at it” (Talk Like Ted, page 80).
There it is again- the best communicators work really hard to look authentic.
Yeh, but what exactly does it mean to work hard to look authentic? I think you know what I’m going to say, because I’ve said it so many times in previous posts. I’ll give you a hint: The answer starts with an “Internali,” and ends with “zation”. There’s no way you will be your authentic self on stage without having the basic guts of your message stuck to your bones. As communicators we all should have nervous energy as we come to the stage. The key, as Dr. Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist at the Harvard Business School, says is not to eliminate nerves but to manage them. And the best way to manage nervousness is to internalize our message. Remember the principle we unpacked some months ago: Less scared when prepared.
A failure to manage nervousness will result in one or more of the following:
Nervous tics. They can be using filler words like, “Uh,” or distracting, non-purposeful movements. Nervous tics not only distract us from our authentic selves, but they also distract our audience, making it difficult for them to connect.
Stiffness. Some speakers over correct their nervous tics by being too rigid. They stand in one place, or hold onto the lectern like the early Steve Jobs did. Their efforts to control nervousness (instead of managing) has the same results as nervous tics- throwing up a barrier between them and the people they are speaking to.
If you want to become authentic as a communicator, let me recommend you begin by trying these two things:
Slow down, especially in the beginning of your talk. What I’m getting at here is your rate of speech. There’s actually science to back this up. Studies show that the ideal rate of speech for audio books where the listeners can hear and absorb the content is around 150-160 words a minute. The ideal rate of speech in conversation is a little faster, like 170-190 words per minute because we have added sensory aids like facial expression, gestures and body language. Auctioneers talk at an average rate of 250 words per minute. Experts have studied the most persuasive talks, and have concluded they were at a rate of around 190 words a minute, the same rate as face to face conversation. In other words, they were authentic. Now remember, it’s more than okay to vary the pace or rate at which you speak; I would argue that you must (like a score to a movie). Remember, we are talking averages per minute. Slowing our speech down, especially in the beginning, is a helpful way to manage our nervous energy.
Purposeful Gestures. Research has shown that gestures actually give the audience confidence in the speaker. Dr. David McNeil, a researcher at the University of Chicago is considered one of the foremost authorities in the area of hand gestures. When asked what is the key to great messages, he says that it’s all in the hands, providing empirical evidence, “...that gestures, thinking, and language are connected” (Talk Like TED, page 96). The best speakers use hand gestures which allows their audience to peer into their thought process, deepening the connection.
What I’m Reading:
Soon and Very Soon: The Transformative Music and Ministry of Andrae Crouch, by Darden and Newby.
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What Happens to our Audiences Brain When We Tell a Story
You’ll never reach your full potential as a communicator unless you learn to tell compelling stories.
I know, it’s a pretty strong statement, but hang in there with me, I have the science to back it up.
Dale Carnegie, one of the greatest speakers in world history, once observed how, “The great truths of the world have often been couched in fascinating stories.” Watch a TED Talk and you’ll see some of the best communicators taking their cue from Carnegie as they hold their audience spellbound with compelling stories and illustrations. And few have done it better than lawyer and justice advocate, Brian Stevenson, who in 2012 gave an eighteen minute TED Talk which when he finished earned the distinction of having the longest standing ovation in the organizations history. What made his presentation so inspiring?
If we were to analyze Stevenson’s talk through Aristotle’s triad of Greek rhetoric- logos (content), ethos (credibility) and pathos (emotional appeal/passion)- we would see that ten percent of his message would fall in the logos bucket, twenty-five percent in ethos and an overwhelming sixty-five percent of his message was spent telling stories. Stories for Stevenson is not just something for the stage, it’s also an important resource he has used in his legal work as he has argued many cases successfully before the Supreme Court and across courtrooms in America. When asked how much of his effectiveness did he credit to telling stories around such sensitive subjects as race, poverty and prison reform, Brian responded, “Almost all of it. There are so many presumptions that will condemn the clients I care about, so my task is to overcome the narratives that have evolved. Almost all of what we’re trying to do turns on effective communication. You need data, facts, and analysis to challenge people, but you also need narrative to get people comfortable enough to care about the community that you are advocating for. Your audience needs to be willing to go with you on a journey” (Talk like TED, Carmine Gallo, page 45).
I got it, Bryan, you may say, but what is it about stories that are so impactful?
Dr. Uri Hasson is a psychology professor at Princeton. He and his colleagues have researched extensively what happens to our brains when we hear stories. He and his team noticed how our brains are most active when a story is told. His conclusion is that when the speaker tells the story there is a “brain-to-brain coupling” which takes place between the communicator and listener. Or to put it another way, there is a “mind meld” which happens between audience and speaker. What this means is that the most powerful weapon we have in winning people to our arguments is a good old fashion story.
Now I know the preachers reading this may object. Let’s just give people the truth of the Bible, you say. I agree, but did you know the largest genre of Scripture is narrative, or what we may call story. And then there’s Jesus. Most of his teaching utilized stories, visual aids and illustrations to persuade his audience. In fact, Jesus told so many stories, there’s a whole genre within his teaching known as parables. And let’s not forget the greatest story ever told- the gospel of Jesus Christ- which is about humanity’s sin, God’s love and Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. This story is so foundational to the human experience that it’s been argued for centuries how every other story somehow points to this story. There’s no such thing as setting the stage for a pastor’s audience to receive the message of the gospel, without telling the story of the gospel.
Stories aren’t just something nice or optional we do as communicators, they’re essential. And while I’m not advocating for sixty-five percent of our messages to be composed of them (Like Brian Stevenson’s TED Talk), I do hope you will lean into narratives as a means of persuading your audience. Andrew Stanton, writer of Toy Story says, “We all love stories. We’re born for them. Stories affirm who we are. We all want affirmations that our lives have meaning. And nothing does a greater affirmation than when we connect through stories. It can cross the barriers of time, past, present and future, and allow us to experience the similarities between ourselves and through others, real and imagined” (TED, February 2012).
Speaking of stories, my next book, Grace to Overcome, is a devotional filled with thirty-one of what I believe to be some of the most compelling stories ever told. If you’re looking to step your story game up, preorder here.