The Road to Significance
Matthew 20:20-28
“Then the mother of the sons of Zebedee came up to him with her sons, and kneeling before him she asked him for something. And he said to her, ‘What do you want?’ She said to him, ‘Say that these two sons of mine are to sit, one at your right hand and one at your left, in your kingdom.’ Jesus answered, ‘You do not know what you are asking. Are you able to drink the cup that I am to drink?’ They said to him, ‘We are able.’ He said to them, ‘You will drink my cup, but to sit at my right hand and at my left is not mine to grant, but it is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.’ And when the ten heard it, they were indignant at the two brothers. But Jesus called them to him and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.’”
Some years ago when our family was living in NYC, a really close friend of mine called me up and offered me tickets to a new musical his wife was in. I turned him down and gently reminded him that I don’t do musicals. Like, I do concerts. And I do plays, but I don’t mix them together. Like, I’ll listen to a preacher, and I’ll listen to a worship leader, but I’m not into worship leaders who talk too much, or preachers who sing. Just me, but I digress. Well, thankfully, I remembered my wife loves musicals, and so I decided to die to self and take the tickets after all. I was glad I did, because it turned out to be Hamilton. I remember sitting there and being stunned by Hamilton, and not just the music, but by the sheer force of his life. Later on I would go and buy the biography that inspired the musical. Here’s a guy who was one of the founding fathers, served in the revolutionary war, became the architect of our financial system and served as our first Secretary of the Treasury. Hamilton also was a prolific writer, writing over 50 of the Federalist Papers. Where did his drive come from? His biographer said it came from the shame of his past and how he hated his immigrant status. So Hamilton decided to forge a new identity based on achievement. I guess we could say that Hamilton was determined that he was not going to lose his shot. He was going to make a mark.
Believe it or not, that’s all of us right now. You and I have a drive to matter. We all want to leave our mark for our moment in time and beyond. While this isn’t wrong, what does become problematic is when our desire to leave our mark turns into our desire for status and fame- a desire Jesus takes on and corrects in our passage.
Our story opens up with a woman named Salome, who is the mother of James and John, aka, the sons of Zebedee, and also the sister of Jesus’ mother, Mary, coming up to Jesus with an urgent request. We know that it’s urgent because the text tells us that she came to Jesus kneeling. The word for kneeling means to worship. So she comes to Jesus in the right way, but asking the wrong thing- she wants her boys to be given the seats of prominence in the kingdom. No doubt, because she is Jesus’ aunt, she is trying to leverage her familial relations to curry favor with Him. Jesus tells her no.
Let me stop right here and send you a quick text message. We can come to Jesus the right way, and make the wrong request and hear him say no. This is important, because some of us think that because we are serving in ministry, giving generously of our money and sharing our faith, that God is somehow in our debt, so that when we ask him for things he has to give it to us. This text tells us that’s not true. In fact, this text teaches us that God will tell us no to things we really want, and it has nothing to do with our behavior, the fact that we’ve been a good boy or girl. God can say no.
Connecting to our Culture
Notice with me Jesus never critiques their desire for significance, but he does take on their desire for status. This is important, because in verses 26-27 he talks about the idea of being great and being first, the idea of significance. He doesn’t say we should shy away from this desire, instead he offers us a whole new paradigm for how to achieve it. Jesus offers us the road to significance. Significance, wanting to leave our mark is not the problem, the desire for worldly status is. And what is status? The dictionary defines status as the position of an individual in relationship to others. It’s the idea of fame.
We live in a culture obsessed with worldly status and fame. In 1976 a survey was done which asked people to list their life goals and fame ranked 15th out of 16; but by the early 2000s, 51% of young people said fame was one of their top goals. In 2007, middle school girls were asked who they would most like to have dinner with. Jennifer Lopez ranked first, then Jesus Christ and Paris Hilton was third. Then these girls were asked what their dream job was? Nearly twice as many said being a celebrity’s assistant more than being the president of Harvard. David Brooks concludes, “As I looked around the popular culture I kept finding the same messages everywhere. You are special. Trust yourself. Be true to yourself. Movies from Pixar and Disney are constantly telling children how wonderful they are. Commencement speeches are larded with the same cliches: Follow your passion. Don’t accept limits. Chart your own course. You have a responsibility to do great things because you are great. This is the gospel of self-trust”- David Brooks, The Road to Character.
Listen, our text teaches us that this is not just a problem out in the culture, but it is also a problem in the church. The fact that you have the future leaders of the church jockeying for position and status, and the fact that the other ten get angry over their request, which reveals their hearts for status, shows us that this spirit of status runs rampant in the church of Jesus Christ. The natural gravitational pull of our hearts is not into servanthood, but into status. Jesus is going to show us the world’s paradigm for significance begins with: 1. Me; 2. Worldly Use of Power/Authority; 3. Status. The Kingdom paradigm for significance begins with: 1. Savior; 2. Suffering; 3. Servanthood. This is the true road to significance. Let’s jump in.
The Road to Significance: Suffering, Matthew 20:21-23
So here is Jesus’ aunt thinking she can leverage her DNA to get her boys in the VIP section of the kingdom. Jesus cuts in and says in so many words, “are you crazy,” and then he starts going on and on about whether they are able to drink the cup he has to drink. Now what does this mean? In the OT, the cup is oftentimes used to depict the wrath of God as a means of judgment on rebellious nations. So the cup is the idea of suffering. This is why in the garden of Gethsemane, right before Jesus dies, he asks God to remove the cup from him. What does this mean? The manner in which he was to suffer and die. So the cup is the idea of suffering. Jesus is saying, you don’t get status or significance in the kingdom without suffering. Then he goes onto say that James and John will drink from the cup, meaning they will suffer. James will be the first apostle to be martyred, killed by Herod. John will live to be 100 years of age, but much of that time was spent suffering in exile on the Island of Patmos.
What James and John teach us is that suffering looks different. Some of you will suffer like James- immediate and like catching on fire. Some of you may literally die for the cause of Christ. Yep. Some of you may have some debilitating disease, or lose a close loved one, or have a long fight with cancer. Others of you, your suffering will look different. Your suffering will be more like turning up the heat very slowly. You’ll suffer more like John, having to endure a life that is nowhere near the script you imagined. You’ll suffer with infertility. You’ll suffer economically. You’ll have to be like John and show up faithfully to a life (to a place you do not want to live) that’s nowhere near what you had hoped. But why? Because brokenness is a prerequisite for usefulness.
When I was a boy I used to love going to amusement parks, and my favorite thing to do was just as the sun was setting I’d buy one of those glowsticks. Now the way glowsticks work is there is a capsule inside of them that has chemicals which cause the light. But those chemicals won’t be released unless you bend the glowstick and break the capsule. In other words, that glowstick cannot live up to its purpose as light without first being broken!
Oh friends, the Bible abounds in examples of this. I would argue that every redemptive leader God has used has gone through suffering and brokenness. I call Joseph to the witness stand. At the start of the story Joseph is this arrogant, pompous kid who is bragging about how his brothers will bow down and serve him. No one wants to be around him. But at the end of the story we see a completely different man. He’s tender. He cries. He’s humble. His brothers end up moving from their country to his and enjoy his company. What changed him? I tell you, years of suffering and brokenness. Being lied on in Potiphar’s house. Sold into slavery. Forgotten about in jail. Suffering and brokenness made the difference.
Oh friends, I tell you, God is up to something in the pain. God is up to something in the disease. God is up to something in the termination. God is up to something in betrayal. We do not get to significance without suffering.
Brokenness vs. Woundedness
Now let me say this and I’ll move on. Suffering knocks on all of our doors, and just because you’ve suffered doesn’t mean you’re ready for significance and usefulness. We all know of people who have suffered and didn’t come out better, but worse. So the issue is not suffering, it’s our response to suffering. And when suffering comes our way, we have one of two responses, either we will be wounded or we will be broken. Woundedness happens when we refuse to respond God’s way. There’s no forgiveness. There’s no faith or trusting in God. We hold onto our idols rather than releasing them. We’re bitter and not better. Broken people respond by leaning into God in suffering. We know that God is trying to break that thing in us that’s keeping us from being like him. And as painful as it may be, we choose to trust him. Wounded People: 1. Aloof; 2. Controlling (fear based); 3. Bitter. Broken People: 1. Empathetic; 2. Empowering (faith based); 3. Better. Are you broken or wounded?
The Road to Significance: Servant Leadership, Matthew 20:24-27
Now what happens when a person has status, a position, without suffering and brokenness? Their leadership is primed to be like the Gentiles. Look at how he describes their leadership. He describes it as being domineering (“lord it over them”) and manipulating (“exercising authority over them”). Now, power and authority is not wrong, how could they be? Jesus exercised power over demons and in the Great Commission said that all authority had been given to him. Furthermore, we’ve been called to use power and authority. But there’s a huge difference. Worldly leadership is marked by unfettered power and authority. This is the idea in the Greek.
It’s sort of like when you’re sick and the doctor gives you a prescription for some pretty strong medication. The first thing we will do is to look at the bottle and see what the dosage is. Why? Because we know in the right amount this powerful medicine can heal, but in the wrong amount it can harm. That’s power and authority. We need it, and we have to use it, just in the right dosage.
See, power means the ability to force or coerce someone to do your will, even if they would choose not to, because of your position and might. So, when Jaden was a little boy and he didn’t want to hold my hand crossing a busy street, I had to exercise power to coerce him to hold my hand for his own safety and good. But if my relationship is always marked by coercing him, by unfettered power, it harms and kills the relationship. Authority is the skill of getting people to willingly do your will because of your personal influence. This is a good thing. Power is positional, and authority is relational. I do this with my kids. Hey, knock it out in the classroom, you got a bonus coming. Get a job and save so much money you have a car coming. This is good in the right amount, but if I’m always cutting deals that’s not a relationship, that’s me raising Pavlov’s Dog, and setting them on a performance ethic where I become their Santa Claus. That’s manipulation.
So how do we make sure we are using power and authority in the right amount? Jesus tells us- servanthood. Servanthood is an others directed orientation to life, that desires to do what it takes to make them flourish. If you’ve ever watched NASCAR you’re watching power in check. These cars are powerful, but they don’t go as fast as they could, why? Because they have something called a restrictor plate, which puts a leash on their power. Why do they do this? For the good of the driver, the car and the other drivers. In the same way, servanthood is our restrictor plate, because servanthood says I want to do what is best not for myself, but for others.
We should see the restrictor plate of servanthood in marriage. Men, did you know that Ephesians 5 says that our wives should be able to look through the rearview mirror of their relationship with us and say they are better women because of our servanthood in their lives? We’ve stewarded the power and authority God has given us in marriage not to ingratiate ourselves but to better them. We see this in parenting. I can tell you that if your parenting is marked by unfettered power and authority, by control and manipulation that is a recipe for rebellious children. The older your kids get the less they need you to be a prophet and the more they need you to be a pastor. We also see this at play in the church. There are people in churches who like to flex and overwhelm people with power and authority. They see something they don’t like, they fire off the email, criticize and walk out the door with their money. This is the way of the world. The way of Jesus is the restrictor plate of servanthood where one says there’s a problem and instead of critiquing, how can I jump in and offer a solution?
The Road to Significance: The Savior, Matthew 20:28
So here is Jesus’ aunt, making this crazy request, and the other ten disciples are listening in and they are hot as fish grease! The nerve of these people, they think! Jesus says calm down, and explains to them the road to significance demands servanthood which is fed by suffering the right way, and at the foundation, the primary driver of it all is Jesus, the Savior. Now how do we know this? Jesus ends by saying that he, the Son of Man, came to give his life as a ransom for many. The Greek word for ransom is the same as redemption- it means to set free.
Now listen carefully, because in that one word, Jesus is saying two profound things. The first thing he is saying is that we are in bondage. You only free people who are in bondage. Prior to Jesus we all worked for bad leadership; it’s called Satan, sin and idolatry. Satan has an agenda for your life and it is to kill, steal and destroy. Peter says he goes about as a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. How does Satan do this? He wants to get us in bondage to sin, and enslaved to our idols. He wants us to believe that life is all about status, success, money, pleasure, having women, having men. Satan is not looking out for your interest. He’s not looking to be life-giving, but life-taking. But what does Jesus do? Philippians 2 says that Jesus comes as a servant, with our best interest in mind, and as the servant he comes to set us free. How does Jesus free us? He frees us through his suffering, his cup on the cross. Don’t you see? Jesus models for us this exact paradigm of kingdom service and significance.
Now here’s the second thing this word ransom implies. For a person to go to this kind of lengths to save and free and serve us, naturally inspires us to serve others. Imagine we go out for lunch and the bill comes and I say, “I got it”. How will you respond? You’ll probably say thanks and go on about how I didn’t have to do that and that’s the end of it. Now, imagine I come up to you and say, “My wife and I feel lead to pay your credit card bill,” how will you respond? I’ll probably get free babysitting out of you. But now imagine I knock on your door and say I want to pay your mortgage off, what’s your response? I’m guessing for the rest of your life you’ll find ways to thank me. Why? Servanthood begets servanthood. The greater the act of service, the greater the response.
Jesus paid all of our sins on the cross as the suffering servant. Show me a Christian who doesn’t serve and I’ll show you a Christian who doesn’t get the gospel.
