The 1 thing that will fast track you to becoming a next level communicator
Without a doubt, the one thing which fast tracked me to becoming a better communicator more than anything else, was the three years I spent as an apprentice under a world class communicator. I lived in his house, hopped on planes with him, carried his bags and peppered him with questions about why he framed the message a certain way, or used a specific approach. I didn’t care I was making less than twenty-thousand dollars a year, barely eking out an existence in one of the most expensive places to live. Just the opposite- every time I got paid, it felt as if I robbed a bank. Those three years, more than any class I took, or books I read, catapulted me to the next level as a speaker.
Want to grow as a communicator? Yeh, you need the right mentor, but you also need to be the right mentee, and that’s what I want to talk to you about in this post. The right mentor, combined with the right approach as an apprentice will guarantee explosive, transformational growth in your speaking. So what do I mean by having the right approach as an apprentice?
When my son came to me and said he wanted to be a preacher, I did two things. First, I got on the phone with some of the best communicators in America, and asked them to spend time with him. At the same time I gave my boy a handful of principles in how to engage these mentors, which would maximize his growth. I thought I’d share them with you:
Lead up. I got a call yesterday from a world class communicator who said my son came to his church over the weekend. After one of the services they got fifteen minutes together where my boy asked five questions. “He used his fifteen minutes well,” this speaker told me. I couldn’t help but smile, because this is exactly how I coached him: When you are fortunate to get time with an older, seasoned leader, you lead by asking well thought out questions. The worst thing, and I mean the worst, is to have a young person ask for my time and not come prepared with clear and precise questions. If you ask me for a meeting, you set the agenda. Lead up.
Be clear and confident. I tell my son when he asks for time with a leader never to say, “Hey, I’d love to get some time with you.” That’s too general and uninspiring. If you are fortunate to get them on the phone, or meet them face to face, you have about thirty seconds to move up the list of priorities, so be clear and confident. Instead of something general like wanting to get some time, say, “I admire the way you communicate, and I want to grow as a communicator. I’d love to ask you three to five questions about public speaking, can I buy you a cup of coffee?” Want to know what I’m thinking as a leader? First, this won’t take up too much of my time because they only have three to five questions. Secondly, this person is intentional and clear on what they want to ask. Finally, they have initiative, even volunteering to pay for my cup of coffee which won’t take long. That’s going to be hard for me as a leader to turn down.
Show up early. My kids will tell you I taught them an “annoying” proverb when they were coming up: To be early is to be on time, to be on time is to be late and to be late is unacceptable. When they agree to the meeting, beat the older leader to the venue.
Take notes. So we finally sit down, and I am giving you my best stuff on communication…stuff people fly me around the country and pay me to teach, and you’re not taking notes? That communicates disinterest to me. Take your phone out, tell me you’re taking notes and now the message you are sending is one of active interest and engagement.
Pick up the bill. I don’t care how broke you are, if you initiated the meeting, the least you can do is to offer to pay for the bill. I’m old school that way, and so are many leaders who are older than you. We know you’re broke, and more times than not we will wave you off and say our version of, “I got it.” But at least slide your hand in your pocket, and reach for the bill with the other and act like you want to pay; it communicates respect.
Express gratitude. After the meeting send an email or write a thank you note expressing gratitude for the investment of time and wisdom. And if you really want to go the extra mile, tell the leader one thing you are going to try to implement right away. Remember, they didn’t have to meet with you, but they did.
Be a seasoned retail salesperson. Here I’m talking about a mentoring relationship where the leader invites you to travel with them, or hang as they are speaking at some conference. Don’t hover and inundate them with questions as they are at the event. Be a seasoned retail person. When I walk into a store (remember those?) to look for an item to purchase, a salesperson will greet me and ask if I need help. Typically I say no as I’m looking. What I want from them at this point is to be within eyesight in case I need something, but not crowding my personal space ready to pounce when I show the slightest interest in an article of clothing. The speaker you are in the green room or at the event with is either distracted by the talk they are about to give, or engaged in conversation, or may just want to be alone. Be within eyesight, don’t hover.
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