The Problem with Balance
I was walking across campus last week right after speaking in chapel when one of the deans asked, “How do you balance ministry and family, especially with all of your travel?”
It’s a question I’ve been asked enough over the years that it warrants me offering a more extended answer than the one I gave to the dean during our quick journey to lunch.
It would be foolish for me to not acknowledge the obvious- the jury is still out on how good of a job I am doing with all of the plates I’ve got spinning. The answer I give today at forty could be quite different when I’m sixty.
To begin with, balance is way overrated. Can I be frank with you? I hate the word balance. Nowhere in the Bible are we called to be balanced in how we handle life. If my goal is to be balanced in all things, I will be radical in no thing. The call to follow Jesus is the call to a life of radical sacrifice, not balance.
Balanced is lukewarm.
Balanced is a jack of all trades a master of none.
Balanced is nominal.
Balanced is cultural Christianity.
Balanced is unappealing.
I want to be radical.
In the garden, God gave Adam a mission before a mate. Adam was called by God to cultivate the garden. Clear on his calling, God now assigns to Adam what he calls a helper in Eve. Eve was not just someone whom he could share bodies and converse with, but Eve was also someone who was called to walk with Adam in his vocation (Vocation comes from the Latin for calling). Theirs was a holistic partnership in every dimension.
I view my labors as a preacher and pastor as a calling. I am called to preach the gospel. It’s not about money. It’s not about notoriety. It’s not about getting on and off airplanes or leveraging a platform. I am called to this. If there’s one thing I’ve been sure of since the age of seventeen, Bryan Loritts is called to preach.
Nothing frustrates a marriage faster than when a husband feels like he has an opponent rather than a helper. Now hear me, I’m not painting the picture of some docile, yes woman molded after the fashion of the first proposed wife in Coming to America (“Whatever you like”), but if there’s two things you must be clear on it is: 1) What has God called you to do; 2) Who has he assigned to be your helper (not employee)?
Korie is my helper. As Adam and Eve walked in vocational oneness as they cultivated the garden daily, so Korie and I labor in ministry together. While I preach she prays. Whatever growth I am experiencing in holiness, it’s been because of the grace of God, the promptings of the Holy Spirit, and his assistant- Korie! So however God uses me, it’s not just me, but it’s we. For all the souls who have come to know Christ, joined Fellowship Memphis, turned from their sins, it’s not just how God has used me, it’s how he’s used Korie and I together.
The writer of Proverbs says that a man’s gift makes room for him and brings him before kings. I’ve found this to be true in my own life. God has opened doors for me to proclaim the gospel around the world. Common sense and simple discernment dictates that I not say yes to every or even most things, but I do know that I’m called to many of those invitations. I’m not called to be at the dinner table every night. But I am called to be the father of Quentin, Myles and Jaden. I’m not called to make them the center of my world, but I am called to make God the center of my world, affections and labors. Which means that I won’t be at every soccer game, school program or spelling bee.
If I feel a little bit of judgment from you after this last paragraph it’s because I’m writing to a culture, especially a Christian culture, who is guilty of the idolatry of family. I think the desire to be present is not only good, but is necessary. However, if in your estimation a good parent is at every event, and makes their kids the center of their world, you are setting your children up for a colossal failure. Continue down this road and you will not launch arrows into the world, but boomerangs- kids who leave the house, and then return because they realized that in the world they are not the center, but at home they are. So why not return to the one place where they were sold a bill of goods? Could it be that our “failure to launch” culture was built on the pipe dreams of well meaning parents who replaced God with little Johnny?
Again, I don’t want you to misunderstand me, I can’t lead anyone I don’t spend time with, and I am called to be the husband of Korie and the father to my children. Korie and I enjoy weekly dates together, along with trips away, just the two of us. I am at most of Jaden’s basketball games. Myles and I have logged hundreds of hours on the golf course together where in between shots we talk about everything from Harry Potter to his dreams. I’ve stood and watched Quentin take off at a cross country meet, only to make a dash for it to the other side of the course so I can see him finish (why not make the starting and finishing line the same place). When I stand in the presence of God I will have to give an account for how I stewarded the lives of these four people I am called to lead.
But I also have been entrusted with the gospel, and to by vocation, that is calling, steward it to the people at Fellowship Memphis, and for this season the people of other states and countries. I feel the tension of wanting to be out at a restaurant on a Saturday night with my wife, but I have to spend time getting ready to preach at Fellowship the next morning. I am perplexed because on the one hand I want to see Jaden hit another jump shot, but God has called me to preach the good news to a gathering of pastors. I’d love to say yes to that once in a lifetime preaching opportunity, but Korie and I have agreed to block that week off for some needed rest and family time.
I don’t know how to be balanced. I don’t want to be balanced.
I want to radically follow Jesus.
I want to radically love my wife.
I want to radically love my children.
The Preachers of LA: How Much Should A Preacher Make?
Birmingham, 1963, Bill Hudson took a photo of a young black boy being attacked by a German Shepherd during the civil rights protests. This picture would go onto be one of the most iconic photographs ever taken. As it circulated across the country gracing the covers of newspapers, politicians took note and began to move. Within two years of this picture the voting and civil rights acts were signed and a whole new way of life for African American’s came into existence.
But look closer at the picture and what you will see is surprising. The boy isn’t what he seems. A hard look shows him pulling tight the leash on the German Shepherd, and kneeing him squarely in the jaw. The policeman said that this young black boy actually broke the dogs jaw. What was once perceived as a docile young man non-violently being bitten for the sake of the cause, was the polar opposite. Looks can be very deceiving. Until you see the whole picture judgment should be reserved.
Oxygen’s new reality show, The Preachers of LA has caused a firestorm of reaction both within and outside the evangelical community. At the center of the controversy is the perceived opulence of these preachers and pastors. But is this another case of looks not being what they seem?
To be clear, I am not defending the show, neither am I in agreement with much of their theology. My years in Los Angeles put me into contact with several of these men, where I listened to many of their sermons. Their theology is more than problematic, some of what I heard was actually heretical (I have not heard all of them preach). I also know that most of the preachers adhere to the “prosperity gospel” (as do most believers, even those who would classify themselves as conservative evangelicals. Show me someone who believes that good deeds on one side of the equation should equal good- and by good I mean tangibly/immediately/materially favorable outcomes- and I will show you someone who has subscribed to prosperity theology). One of the nice “amenities” of being a preacher who espouses prosperity theology is that you have to be the visible demonstration of what you want your people to buy into, meaning you have to have the best of the best. But this is not the purposes of this post.
In essence, I want to ask, is it wrong for a preacher to make a certain amount of money that allows him to purchase a Bentley, multi-million dollar mansion, private jet, etc? At what point does too much money and possessions become, well, too much? In other words, is our natural resistance to the show founded in the Scriptures? We need to tread carefully.
We all have what’s called a hermeneutic, which simply means a way of interpretation. For the follower of Jesus Christ our hermeneutic must begin with the Scriptures. So what does the Word of God say about money, wealth and possessions? On one hand we would have to conclude that you can be wealthy and godly at the same time. Abraham, the father of the nation of Israel and a picture of godly fidelity is an example of this. So is his son Isaac, grandson Jacob and great-grandson Joseph- you don’t become second in command of the Egyptians without being wealthy at the same time. These men are the patriarchs of God’s covenant people, who were wealthy. David and Solomon were men of enormous financial means. So was the entrepreneurial Lydia. Philemon’s home was so big that a church could meet inside. He also owned slaves which would put him in a much higher “tax bracket”. A case could even be made that the entrepreneurial virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 was of financial means. Jesus didn’t say that it was impossible for the rich to enter into the kingdom, just that it was difficult. Paul condemned the love of money, not the possession of it. So a fair reading of the biblical record would lead me to determine that wealth and godliness can be congruent.
But that’s not really our problem when it comes to The Preachers of LA. What strikes against the grain of our soul is the thought of preachers and pastors making a lot of money, and using that money in such “extreme” ways as we see in their reality.
So how much do the Scriptures say a preacher should make?
You won’t find any specific amount or percentage mentioned. Instead, what you’ll see as you mine the text are general principles. We preachers are worthy of double honor, Paul says. As those who sow immaterial things through the proclamation of God’s eternal truth, we should reap the material. The ox is not to be muzzled. All of these are very general principles, and here is where I can sometimes find myself frustrated, because what would be easier is to establish a set amount, or better yet a set percentage. If you find it in the Bible let me know!
Paul went to great extremes to not burden the people he lead financially. He boasted on several occasions that he labored with his own hands so as not to abuse the people. He did this through the making of tents. To the Corinthians he even claimed that he had the right to take money from them, but didn’t. But then he said to the Philippians that in his labors he had seasons where he went without, but there were also seasons where he had plenty- more than enough. Paul, and this is interesting, hints at times in his life when his cup was overflowing with material blessings. But before you say, See, Paul needs to be our example, are you saying that all pastors need to be bi-vocational?
So how much should a preacher make?
We love quoting from Charles Spurgeon, that great 19th century London preacher and pastor. He is still looked to as a model of godliness and great evangelistic preaching. But look closer, and you might be surprised at what else you see. Spurgeon enjoyed the finer things of life. He smoked great cigars, was known to drink wine as he read the Bible, vacationed annually in France, had a wonderful home and garden, and even rode the first class section of trains when he traveled. Drummond, in his biography on Spurgeon, tells of the time when he was about to get into the first class section of the train when a poor preacher noticed him. The poor preacher needled him by saying that he was getting into third class to save the Lord’s money. Never one to be outwitted, Spurgeon responded that he was getting into first class to save the Lord’s servant! Any fair treatment of Spurgeon will have to conclude that he not only had an abundance of money pass through his hands, but that he also enjoyed the finer things of life.
So how much should a preacher make?
We are all given to more than just biblical hermeneutics, but cultural hermeneutics as well. Our upbringing, class, environment and experiences radically shape the way we interpret such things as The Preachers of LA. I experienced this firsthand as our compensation committee, in the early days of our church, was trying to decide how much to pay me. The two men who made up the committee were extremely godly men who also happened to be white. As they were wrestling to find a framework for my pay they realized that their way of approaching things was limited, especially in the context of a multi-ethnic church. And so without any prompting from me they began to call around to various African American churches within the city of Memphis to ask how their compensation was decided (notice they faced the same dilemma we all do, nothing is specifically prescribed in the Bible). To their astonishment they were told that most of these churches gave ten percent of their annual budget to the pastor. Now by no means am I saying this is normal for all black churches in Memphis or abroad, but what they realized was that there was a huge cultural difference when it came to a hermeneutic of money for the pastor (they decided on a different structure that has been very encouraging and affirming to me and our family). Their investigation lead them to conclude what most of my African American colleagues had already figured out- ours (AA ethnicity and culture) is an honor culture. So whose right and whose wrong?
While the bible doesn’t give specifics as it relates to compensation, it does have very clear and daunting details about what to do with money once it’s in our hands. To the rich landowner in Luke 12, God doesn’t condemn him for his material and financial blessings. Instead he is called fool and condemned to hell, because he sought to take those blessings and horde them in bigger barns and spend them on his epicurean pursuits, thus betraying an unregenerate heart. Ananias and Sapphira met a similar fate over their greed. While tithing is not mentioned in the NT, the whole spirit of the NT is to exceed that amount out of a generous heart. We are stewards who are expected to give generously to the kingdom.
And this is my dilemma with the show, The Preachers of LA. We see the cars, houses and bling, but we don’t see the giving record or random acts of generosity (supposing they exist). What if I told you that I know of a pastor who has two Bentley’s, a multi-million dollar home in a very exclusive neighborhood…would you say typical and write him off? Or what if you let me finish and tell you that at last count he gives over twenty-three percent of his income to the kingdom? Is this another case of the boy kneeing the German Shepherd?
There’s a lot that’s wrong with the show, you won’t get any arguments out of me there. When I see the cars and possessions my soul grimaces because everything within me says that’s wrong. But is it? Show me the verse. Would I do it? No. I’m just concerned that our cultural hermeneutics maybe superceding our biblical hermeneutics, when instead we need to leave room for the Holy Spirit and our consciences to guide us through how we steward God’s money.
Leadership Rants
- If my character is so out of line with my preaching that my wife struggles to come to church, I need to stop preaching.
- Gifted people are a dime a dozen people, anointed people, people who minister out of the overflow of their walk with Jesus are not.
- My ministry will only last as long as my body does, so I need to take care of my body.
- “No” is the most liberating word in the English language.
- I am not omni-competent, so stop trying to be.
- Be ruthless with time but gracious with people.
- I am not my gifts, so stop being so sad when you preach a bad sermon.
- I am not my calendar.
- There’s one Savior, and it’s not me, so stop trying to change people, I can’t even change myself.
- Build His kingdom, not yours.
- Comparing yourself to others will either make you self righteous, or depressed.
- Gain money, give money, grow money.
- The undisciplined life is not worth living.
- Read. Read. Read.
- Above all else, take care of your soul.
- It’s an awful thing to be worshiped; feeding into it always ends bad. See Herod, and just about every mega superstar.
- Always sneak a peak at the rear view mirror of your past, and praise God for how far He’s brought you.
- Never get so sophisticated in your theology that, “Jesus loves me this I know,” fails to move you.
Why I Believe in the Doctrine of Election
Tomorrow at Fellowship we continue in our series on the book of James by looking at 2:1-13. Our investigation of the text necessitates that I take a few moments to discuss the doctrine of election. The reason for this is because James, in his argument that Christ-followers are never to show partiality, argues that God did not play favorites based on worldly categories of status when he saved us. In fact, James would go onto say, “Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?” (emphasis mine).
The word chosen in verse 5 points us to the beautiful doctrine of election. The doctrine of election simply means God’s sovereign initiating choice to save certain individuals, adopting them into His family, independent of prior merit. The doctrine of election postures God as the Divine Initiator, and not me. In essence, the doctrine of election says that God chose me, and I did not choose him, i merely responded to his incomprehensible act of initiating grace.
Election has unfortunately been the focal point of much controversy throughout church history, and I am not here to pick a fight with anyone. In fact, I write this post primarily to the members and attenders of Fellowship Memphis. I will say it in my message tomorrow that belief in the doctrine of election is not necessary in order to be saved, and therefore it is not necessary to join our church. There have been many wonderful saints of God throughout the years who have thought and taught very differently from me on this subject, and I am sure they will be seated much closer to King Jesus than I when we get to heaven.
Time in my message does not permit me to give all of the reasons why I believe in the doctrine of election, so let me lay out eight reasons why I have come to embrace this doctrine:
1. The Bible Teaches It. I am amazed at how the doctrine of election keeps coming up in every section of the Scriptures. God chose Israel- Psalm 33:12; Deuteronomy 6:7; Isaiah 41:8-10. Jesus chose the disciples- John 6:70. God chose us the church- Romans 9.
2. Jesus Taught Election. This is similar to my first point, but it’s so significant that it warrants it’s own point. Calvin did not coin the term election. Election is a thoroughly biblical word that Jesus used a lot, centuries before Calvin was even born. Matthew 24:15 and following, Mark 13:27 and Luke 18:7 are but a few examples of Jesus teaching on election.
3. Total Depravity. I believe in the doctrine of total depravity which says that every aspect of my life has been marked by sin because of Adam and Eve’s rebellion in the garden. The doctrine of total depravity does not say that I am as sinful as I could be (degree), but there is nothing in my life that has not been touched by iniquity (extent). If this be the case, then I could not possibly choose God on my own initiative without God initiating with me. Dead people (Ephesians 2 description of us) do not make choices.
4. Intensifies My Worship. For God to choose a wandering sheep, wayward sinner, totally depraved man like me who was mired in self-righteousness and in rebellion against God defies awe and comprehension. Quite frankly, if I believe that I chose God, like one would choose what they would have for dinner, where’s the amazement in that? The doctrine of election keeps me on my face before God, bringing a depth and intensity to my worship over the one who would choose me in spite of me.
5. God, Not Me. The doctrine of election sets the trajectory of my salvation on the sovereignty of God and not on the free will of man. This then promotes a faith that is God made, and not man made. God, His Son Jesus Christ and the Sweet Holy Spirit are at the center of my affections, not me.
6. Intensifies Evangelism. Because God pursues me, he also calls me to be a vessel that he uses to pursue others. Let me remind us that the same guy who wrote Romans 9 (that great passage on election/predestination) is the same one who logged thousands of miles on land and sea preaching Christ, sharing his faith, and seeing many come to the Lord. Paul, the greatest writer on the doctrine of election, was at the same time one of the greatest evangelist’s. Evangelism and election are not foes, they are joined at the hip.
7. Freedom in Evangelism. Also, the doctrine of election frees me in evangelism. Isn’t it liberating to know that because it is God, not our choices who saves? Because of this I need not depend on clever arguments (though I want to be prepared) or trendy presentations in witnessing, I just need to, well, witness, testify what God has done in my life and share the good news with others, leaving the results to God. The pressure really is off!
8. I’m in Good Company. There are a host of godly men and women throughout church history who have believed passionately in the doctrine of election. This is both comforting and affirming. The only two names I will call is Jesus and Paul.
What to do with Your Critics?
The playing field of leadership comes with its corresponding team of color commentators who offer insights into everything you do. Everything, and I mean everything is on the table to critique. What kind of car you drive. Where you send your kids to school. The fact that you do send your kids to school. Choice of attire. Leadership decisions you’ve made. Leadership decisions you “should have” made. How much money people think you make. It’s all up for discussion with most of the dialog taking place behind the leaders back. For all these reasons and more any leader worth his salt has had bouts with discouragement, see Moses. Sometimes the critiques come from neutral people who are neither for you or against you. They just have something to say. Sometimes, however, the commentary is rooted in people who just don’t like you.
So what do we as leaders do with the onslaught of criticism that comes our way? My years in leadership have taught me ten valuable lessons in dealing with critics:
1. Grow Up, Bryan. Leadership is for grown folks. If I can appreciate the perks of leadership, of life in the public eye, then I also need to embrace the dark side. With the applause comes critique. So I’ve had to learn to stop whining and take the bitter with the sweet. If Jesus can have his Pharisees, what makes me think I won’t have mine? Stop complaining Bryan, and be a big boy.
2. Look again. Chances are that there’s an element of truth to their critiques. Stop being so defensive, and try to discern the nugget of truth that you need to embrace and apologize for. As the saying goes, “Turn your critics into coaches”.
3. Humility. I have found that my critics have been used to work humility into me. In my early days of preaching I would say just some really hard things in a really hard way. What has buffed off those rough edges have been the critiques of congregants who offered me a nicer way of saying things, often times in an ironically not so nice way. I’m a lot more tactful because my critics have been used in a redemptive way to work humility into me (still need more).
4. Love. Your critics don’t need to be tolerated, they need to be loved.
5. Six Bullets. Whenever I catch wind of someone who has said something about me that I don’t like I immediately want to rush in and deal with the person and the issue. At this stage of the game however, if I took that route I would literally not have time to do anything productive. I have to remember I only have six bullets and I can’t shoot at everything.
6. Your Spouse. When I first got married I was coached to share everything with Korie. However, I’ve had to learn the hard way that this is not always the best advice. Korie’s fiercely loyal to me, and will tend to internalize attacks on her husband in a way that makes her angry and bitter. My role as a protector demands that I guard what I share with her.
7. Don’t get bitter. Moses’ failure to deal well with his haters barred him from the promised land. Don’t let bitterness rob you of what God has for you.
8. Be courageous. It’s easy to write sermons directly for those who speak against you and turn the pulpit into a firing range. Don’t do this, because quite frankly that’s cowardice. Deal with them in private. I think that’s where Matthew 18 would have us to begin.
9. Seek reconciliation. If your critics profess Christ seek to be reconciled with them in Christ. If they don’t know Jesus, so deal with them that they would want to know this God you claim to have saved you. One of the true tests of Christianity is how you handle those who mistreat you. But at the end of the day it takes two to reconcile. This is why Romans 12:18 is given to us.
10. Keep it moving. There comes a time when that email needs to be deleted, the anonymous note thrown away or the phone call forgotten. You've just got to move on.
Preaching with Clarity
It’s the worst thing that could ever happen to a preacher. Here you’ve spent all week in preparation. You’ve consulted dozens of resources, done your exegetical homework, crafted an outline, prayed and then labored for a half hour or so on Sunday morning, only to have one of your listeners say in their own polite, tactful way,
“What was your second point again?”
“You talk really fast.”
“What did you say that word meant?”
All of this and more is code for, “You just weren’t clear”. And let me repeat for clarity sake: This is the one of the worst things that could ever be said about the preacher. Truth that is not clear, is like clothes that don’t fit- you can’t do anything with it.
Over the last several decades of preaching I’ve found the following checklist to serve me well in helping me to be clear in the preaching moment:
- Spend just as much time with the how as you do the what. Many preachers spend so much on the what- exegesis, hermeneutics, reading commentaries- that they forget the how, that is giving careful thought to the way in which things need to be communicated. Jesus gave careful thought to how he wanted to communicate truth. Just look at the careful attention he gave to illustrations and visual aids.
- Table of Contents. Remember the people you are talking to are not reading what you’re saying, they’re listening to you. When someone reads and they feel as if they missed something they have the luxury of turning back the pages and catching it. Not so with listeners. Once it’s missed, it’s missed. To help us with this we preachers should give a table of contents at the start of our message. “This morning we’re going to learn these three things,” and state them. I have found this simple exercise to not only help with clarity, but it gives people a road map for our time together, letting them know in advance when we’re close to landing the plane.
- Edit. Whenever a movie is made there is always several scenes that didn’t make it to the final product. Filmmakers know that everything that is shot cannot be shown. Preacher you should not bring all of your study to the preaching moment. There’s some “scenes” that need to be left on the editing room floor.
- Manuscript. My colleague, H.B. Charles has been known to advise young preachers to “Write yourself clear”. I have used this discipline for the last fifteen years or so. I don’t take the manuscript with me, but I have found the discipline of writing down my thoughts helps me to clarify what I want to say in the preaching moment.
- Big Idea. I resisted this for years, but in the past months I’ve returned to what Haddon Robinson and others have called the big or central idea of a text. It has been a rich tool in helping me to preach with clarity. Books like, Biblical Preaching, and Christ Centered Preaching will shed further light on this concept. I highly recommend them.
- Clarity begins with you. The message must be clear to the preacher before it’s clear to the people. I had a preaching professor who once said that a mist in the pulpit is a fog in the pew. Preacher are you clear with where you are going? The slightest hesitation to this question will be magnified by a thousand with your people.
- Structure. Here we have in mind things like outlines. It’s up to you how detailed you want to be, or if you want to use alliteration. As a model of structure I have used the explanation, illustration, application format. Make the point. Show the point. Show the person in the point.
- Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.
- Simplicity. The mark of brilliance is the ability to make the complex simple. It has been my experience that recent seminary grads specifically struggle with this. In their quest to make their mark and validate their calling they want everyone to know how smart they were. My best compliments on preaching always come from children who say to me in their own way that they got what I was saying.
Remember, you can never argue with a person who says to you they didn’t understand you. We as preachers have to own that.
A Glass of Merlot
I enjoy a very occasional glass of wine, and this has become a bit of a problem between Korie and I. Okay, A LOT of a problem. In the early days of marriage we would be out at some restaurant enjoying a wonderful evening together until I would indicate my beverage of choice. Immediately Korie would shut down emotionally and look at me as if I was some detestable insect. Not one to be outdone, I would hit her with all of the passages in the Bible that validated my decision to imbibe. Jesus’ first miracle. Paul’s prescription to Timothy for what ailed his stomach. I’d even go Acts 10, Romans 14 and I Corinthians 8 on her. Right there in the middle of the Cheesecake Factory I would conclude my defense by saying, “You do know I’m twenty-six, YEARS BEYOND the legal age for drinking. So if Jesus and Capitol Hill are okay with it, then I guess I’m good." I’d then take a few swigs of my Merlot and grin like a Cheshire cat.
It didn’t get better, only worse.
I remember getting so…so hacked off at the "Pharisee” for a wife God had given me, that I asked in the middle of like round forty over this drinking argument, “What’s your deal?”. What followed changed my life and settled the matter. In the middle of some restaurant Korie broke down and shared with me how everyone she had ever loved had abused alcohol. The near death experiences. Unpredictable home life. Seeing me with a wine glass in my hand lead her to conclude that I would be another certain victim. I think I ordered an Arnold Palmer that night.
Communication theorists tell us there’s five levels of communication. Ranking them in order from most superficial, to the most intimate:
1. Cliche/Non-sharing (Good morning! How are you? Fine. Nothing’s been said).
2. Facts/Sharing what you know (Who won the game?)
3. Opinion/Sharing what you think (Who will win the Superbowl? Falcons of course)
4. Emotive/Sharing how you feel (I’m angry, sad, fearful, hurt).
5. Transparency/Sharing who you are (I have a really hard time with self control.)
Maybe you’ve put it together by now, but the issue for Korie and I was not alcohol, it was that we were communicating on two different levels. I went facts (no offense to those out there who think drinking is wrong). The Bible says it. The government okays it. So let’s do it. Korie was at level four. She went feelings. When she saw me drink it brought up a history of bad experiences. It was only when I met her on her level of communication that we were able to get to understanding and journey deeper into oneness with each other.
This is the problem with discussions on race by the way. Pick a controversial topic, anyone. Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman. Jenna Six. Rodney King. My white brothers typically go level two in their communication. You know all facts. Well Zimmerman was within his rights. Trayvon didn’t have a clean record, he was a known drug user. Some funky stuff was happening in that neighborhood anyways. And according to the law Zimmerman was within his rights, or so the level two communication goes.
But what I want my white brothers and sisters to see is that when this happens we minorities aren’t communicating from level two, we’re level four. We FEEL violated. We FEEL like once again black life was devalued. We FEEL as if justice was aborted. And what we need at this moment is for you to set down your “wine glass,” come to our side of the table and try to FEEL what we FEEL. We can dispute facts all day long, but one can never argue feelings.
The only thing that’s going to get us to the other side of the table and do the work to get at a sense of understanding is love. The same love that compelled me to hear my wife’s heart, must the kind of love that allows us to enter into dialog with one another exploring more than facts, but feelings as well.
If Only
What if Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman went to the same church? What if the two of them were placed in a small group together, where they shared countless meals and engaged one another in meaningful dialog? Do you think the outcome would have been different? I do. Okay, take Trayvon out of the small group. Instead, let’s say Zimmerman went to a church where he was in constant contact with young black teenage men who wore hoodies from the other side of the tracks. What if they trusted each other enough to share their different sociological worldviews, while at the same time reveling in the common ground that they hold in Christ? Do you think Zimmerman would’ve pulled out his gun and shot a young man because of fear fed by stereotypes? I don’t think he would have. Trayvon would’ve kept on eating his skittles that evening, all because of the power of the multi-ethnic church to dismantle fear and prejudice.
The danger of homogeneity is that it isolates us from the other and serves as a silent accomplice to perpetuate our generalizations and suspicions of the other. When we don’t know one another we become susceptible to saying things like:
“Yeh, but black preachers are just emotional, they don’t really deal with the text.”
“They don’t work hard enough.”
“White people are racist’s.”
“But if they (interracial couple) get married, what about the kids?”
“When will they just get over it?”
Like any other black man I know what it’s like to have white people walk faster when I happen to walk behind them. Sometimes I get frustrated by this, but I also laugh. If they only knew me. Outside of the pack of Kool Aid I stole when I was like eight, I’ve never stolen anything in my life. I live in the suburbs, am married to a girl from Scottsdale, Arizona, pastor a church that’s 65% white and haven’t been in a fight since I was like nineteen. And…can I be real? I am often times just as afraid of certain black people as the white person I’m walking behind is afraid of me! If they only knew me. If I only knew them.
Just the other day I walked into a store at night. And as you can imagine, as it just so happened I scared the white woman in front of me so that she clenched her purse and doubled her gait. As I was about to shake my head in frustration, one of my members called out loudly from like fifty feet away, “Pastor Bryan!" Her greeting was so loud it left me a little embarrassed. She ran over and we had a great conversation, a black man and a white woman in the middle of Target. No fear. We knew each other.
If the social structures of our lives- church, neighborhoods, schools, etc- are homogenous, and we have no meaningful exchanges with the other around dinner tables and outings, then we are bound to perpetuate stereotypes and live in fear and suspicion of the other. One of the glorious residual benefits of the multi-ethnic church is that it forces you to deconstruct your perception of the other, and come out of your fear. If only we had more multi-ethnic churches, Trayvon Martin might still be alive today.
Saturday 10
Each Saturday I take some time to reflect on the ten things that happened this past week that have brought me life. Things that I’m excited about.
- Our first national conference on multi-ethnic ministry called, The Kainos Movement (April 16-17, 2014), continued to make progress this week. We met with our website design firm, and they showed us some branding options. We expect the website to be up and running by mid October. Once that happens you’ll be able to register for the conference. You won’t want to miss this as John Piper, Tony Evans, Soong Chan Rah, John Perkins and a host of others are going to be sharing on how to do multi-ethnic ministry.
- This past Sunday I had the honor of preaching at North Dallas Community Bible Fellowship. God was gracious, and his people were blessed. Thanks to Dr. Terren Dames for hosting me.
- At the same time I preached across all three campuses at Fellowship Memphis as we started our series on the book of James (thanks to some wonderful technology I was actually able to preach in two states, at four locations on the same day). You can go here to listen, and subscribe to the podcast or download the app: http://www.fellowshipmemphis.org/media/
- Since my father was also preaching in Dallas this past Sunday we decided to connect for lunch. I so love my dad, and am grateful for his godly example. Follow him on Twitter @crawfordloritts
- I met with another pastor this week to discuss plans of a partnership where we dream of planting gospel centered, disciple making, multi-ethnic churches in the city of Memphis. I left the breakfast table excited for the future of our city.
- I’m honored to serve as the General Editor for an upcoming book called, Letters to a Birmingham Jail. Some of the authors on this project are Matt Chandler, Crawford Loritts, John Piper, John Perkins, John Bryson, Charlie Dates and Albert Tate. Subscribe to my blog to be regularly updated on this project as it will be coming out sometime next spring.
- On Monday our staff discussed Dr. Korie Edwards book, The Elusive Dream. It’s one of the most thought provoking books I’ve read on the multi-ethnic church.
- Monday afternoon’s are the highlight of my week as I lead a preaching cohort that trains our residents on preaching. This past Monday we talked about the personal life of the preacher.
- Thursday I connected with my prayer group, made up of pastors around the city of Memphis. It was a great time of sharing and prayer- a real and rare safe place for we pastors.
- Yesterday Korie and I saw The Butler. It exceeded the hype. Go see it.
On Using Illustrations
It was Dr. Tony Evans who taught me to, “think illustratively”. He believed that everything was an illustration, and that we as preachers needed to turn the switch of our imagination on, opening our eyes to the stories and analogies around us. He believed so strongly in developing our imaginations that he required we interns to give him twenty-five illustrations a week. It was hard, tedious work, but now some twenty years later I remain indebted to Dr. Evans, for illustrations have become a mainstay in my preaching ministry.
Over the past twenty-three years of preaching I’ve learned many things, specifically about using illustrations:
1. Jesus used illustrations, and so should we. Life is a story, or what I may call a “meta-illustration,” thus people are naturally drawn to story, because they find themselves a part of one. Jesus understood this, that is why his teachings are filled with illustrations (mustard seeds, fig trees, stories of a lost coin, lost sheep, lost sons, etc.).
2. Illustrations are windows to the point, they are never to be the point. Where I have blown it with illustrations, and have seen other preachers blow it, is preaching illustrations instead of the text. We should view illustrations as a window to show the point “out there”, they’re never to be the point.
3. People should get the point of the illustration before you make the point. In other words, the people you are preaching to should get to the punch line before you give the punch line. If the people are still wondering what the point is after you have given the point then they are missing what you are currently saying, and the illustration was not effective, actually it was detrimental to the message.
4. Variety. In a given sermon there should be variety of illustrations- biblical illustrations, historical illustrations, personal stories, current events, etc. I know many preachers who use mainly personal stories. We have to especially be careful with this because we can inadvertently make ourselves the hero and not God. On the other hand, too many sports stories, for example, will not connect with those who are not into sports in your church. As a rule of thumb, variety is always good.
5. Don’t overdo it. I so love illustrations that I can use too many and this is a problem. Think of illustrations as Lawry’s Seasoning Salt, and the text as the meat. No seasoning is not good, but too much will spoil the meat and the message. The right amount of illustrations will help to clarify and serve a wonderful meal, too much and it’s spoiled.
6. Transition well. In giving illustrations one should always make the point very clearly, transition to the illustration that shows the point, and then at the end of the illustration make the point again. Finally, you want to apply the point you have just shown through the illustration. Perhaps this example will help:
I was preaching Philippians 2 recently, the great kenosis passage talking about Christ emptying himself. What a theological challenge! The point Paul was making was that Christ didn’t lose his status as God, instead he simply used his status not for his own purposes, but to benefit and bless others. Therefore, we should follow Christ’s humble example by refusing to use whatever status we have for ourselves, but for the benefit of others.
I’m ashamed to say it, but I have diamond status with delta, which means that if there’s an empty seat in first class I get the upgrade. My status affords me some wonderful perks that I enjoy taking advantage of. However, this becomes a problem when my wife and I fly together, because while I have the highest status, she has no status, and me getting the upgrade while Korie sits in coach doesn’t work too well for marriage. So what I do is that I will take my first class ticket and sit next to my wife in coach, which means I am sitting in someone else’s seat. When that person comes I will give them my first class seat so that I can remain with my wife in coach. Because of my refusal to benefit from my status personally, but stewarding it for the benefit of others, someone with no status is now experiencing the comforts of first class, while my wife and I can be together. Now I haven’t lost my status- I’m still diamond- I just refuse to use my status at that time to benefit myself, instead I use my status to bless others.
This is what Christ has done for us. He had the highest status- He is God. But he didn’t simply remain in the first class section of the world called heaven, but he came down to earth- coach- to walk with us and die for us that we might get the upgrade back to heaven. Can I ask you a question- when was the last time you used the blessings of God, the status that God has given you to bless others?