I often think of my seminary days and shake my head. Never would I have imagined someone asking me to officiate a wedding for a same sex couple. Not in my wildest fantasies could I have dreamt of being asked to do a baby dedication where the parents were gay. It’s not that I had an opinion on these matters, I couldn’t even think of these as remote possibilities. But here we are, and I’m hopeful. I believe in the sovereignty of God he has allowed you and I to live at “such a time as this.” We get the chance not to soak in fear, but to re-write the narrative of generations of Christians in America (and around the world) who have just made some serious mistakes in the name of Christ when it comes to our friends in the gay community.

In previous posts I’ve talked plenty about the need for grace, but how do we steward truth? After all, it was said of Jesus that he was a man full of grace and truth (John 1:14). I’ve found the following three pillars to be helpful in winsomely engaging the LGBTQ+ community with the truth of the gospel:

1. Love and Disagreement Can Coexist. Tolerance implies I must extend an explicit endorsement to “your truth.” To not do so is seen as being bigoted. But this is not how tolerance was originally conceptualized. Generations ago, tolerance was defined as the ability to disagree civilly. Boy have things changed. Christians are not called to tolerate, or to even be inclusive by modern definitions. Instead, Christ followers are to love. Given this, it’s quite possible to love someone and disagree with them at the same time. And if you want a picture of this, look at just about every parent with their children. My kids have made colossal mistakes, and so far in every instance we’ve shared truth with them while embracing them at the same time. So can I disagree with someone’s lifestyle choice and invite them over for dinner with good food and drink and laughs at the same time? Of course.

2. The Goal is Jesus. As a Christian I’m far more interested with a person’s soul than their sexuality, and I think it’s safe to say Jesus agrees. When I befriend people who don’t know Christ, I pray and plead they would come to know Jesus. I actually think the enemy wants to distract us by having us consumed with lesser side bar issues than their souls. Satan is pleased if the interactions devolve into hours of debate over Romans 1 and other biblical passages, when instead the focus should be on Christ. Let Jesus move in, and once he authentically does, other matters will be addressed.

3. I’m No Better. I had a member of our church who found out one of our leaders in ministry struggles with homosexuality, so she decided to confront me. I smiled and told her I knew about this person, and had engaged in numerous conversations with them and was fine with them serving in ministry. She was appalled at how I could do such a thing. I shared with her how this person is leaning on the grace of God one day at a time in their journey, and while they are living victoriously there have been moments of defeat. “Now," I said to her, leaning forward in my seat, “Tell me, is that any different from you, or me? We may have different struggles, but if you’re perfect, please let me know and I’ll remove him.” She couldn’t say anything. I really don’t think we get this, and it’s a real shame. Our pride just keeps getting in the way.