Offensive Eldering
When it comes to the personal care and shepherding of the local pastor, we need elders who will play offense and not defense. Elders lead, and not just react. It’s been my experience based on numerous conversations with pastors across the country, that most elder boards are filled with leaders- godly leaders- who can become so focused on the needs of the congregation they neglect to proactively care for the needs of their pastor. If you are an elder, or aspire to be an elder, there are at least five ways you can offensively elder your pastor:
Don’t burden pastors with expectations of omnicompetence. The average pastor is expected to be a great preacher, great leader, great counselor, great people person, great administrator, have a great bedside manner, be a great visionary, and at the same time have a great marriage, great family, great personal life, great walk with the Lord…just be great, great, great, great, great. Well, that person doesn’t exist, and to expect omnicompetence is a form of pastoral abuse, because it pushes the pastor to attempt to be something his humanity will never let him be. As John the Baptist once said, “I am not the Christ”. These five words need to be the mantra of pastors, and that of elders in thinking about their pastor.
Initiate intimate conversations with your pastor. Ask us in a non-suspicious way how we’re doing in our marriages and with our children. Ask us about our walk with the Lord. Ask us about our emotional health. Ask us about our physical health. Don’t assume we have it all together, and everything is okay, and then when the bottom falls out the elders put on a full court press to clean up the mess. Who knows, many elder boards would never have to go into a defensive frenzy, if they played a bit of offense by just simply showing an interest and asking questions about the various venues of our lives.
Pray with us. Here I’m not talking about the prayer that begins and ends the elders meeting, or the times when the agenda is pushed to the side and we pray for the church. Instead, I’m thinking of an elder playing offense by approaching the pastor and just caring for them off the cuff with prayer. I can only think of one occasion in almost twenty years as a Lead Pastor where I had an elder initiate non-emergency prayer with me. He invited me to his home, sat me down, asked me questions and then we prayed for about a half hour. The wind that put in my soul was enough to push me along for the next season of ministry.
Initiate compensation discussions. We need offensive elders in the area of the pastor’s personal compensation. A pastor shouldn’t have to come and ask for a cost of living increase or a raise. It’s a shame the marketplace does a better job at this with their employees than the church of Jesus Christ does with their pastors. I’ll let you in on a little secret: Most pastors either initiate these types of conversations, risking the appearance of greed, or they say nothing at all, while they inwardly wish someone around the table would. Too many pastors are not prepared for retirement, and die with far less than what they should have because the churches they served didn’t step up. Of course I could disclaimer this point to death with talks of churches who don’t have it and bivocational pastors, but I trust you understand where I’m coming from.
Play offense when it comes to our rest. Did you know the FAA demands that airline pilots and crew get a certain amount of rest before they fly? Do you know how many flights have been delayed because the crew didn’t have sufficient rest? Why does the FAA initiate and demand this? Because the lives of hundreds of passengers are at stake. What the FAA is to pilots and crew, elders must be to the pastor. Why? Because something more important is at stake than just bodies, it’s souls, which, as the Bible says, we leaders give watch over. The work of pastoring is constant, because the needs of people are constant. Plus, we need to consider that the average person’s down time is the pastor’s peak time when it comes to the work week. While our people are off enjoying their Saturday’s and Sunday’s, your pastor is putting the finishing touches on and preaching the sermon. David said of the LORD that He makes him lie down in green pastures. The LORD played offense when it came to David’s rest, and so should elders. A pastor shouldn’t have to initiate a sabbatical policy; elders need to be planning that out. Elders shouldn’t nickel and dime their pastor when it comes to vacation days, but should consider a responsible vacation policy that provides ample rest….and make the pastor stick to it.
I bet we would have less cases of pastoral trauma, burnout and failure if we had more offensive minded elders. May the Lord grant us wisdom.
