Next level communicators build bridges.
Next level communicators build bridges.
The Latin word for communication means common. At its core, to communicate means people have and hold something in common. While this includes essentials like a common language, it equally demands effective communicators build bridges with their audience.
Almost every time someone comes up to you and says their version of, “That was a great talk,” what they are really saying is, “Your message connected with me at a deep level.”
There’s a well known scene in the life of Jesus where he sits down with a woman at a well. At first sight it seems as if this exchange will go nowhere given the barriers between them. One is a male, while the other female (significant barriers in that culture). Jesus is an embodied Jew, while the woman is a Samaritan- two races which despised one another. Then there’s the presumed moral differences, as she has a checkered past, filled with failed relationships making her the talk of town, while Jesus is a Rabbi. But come the end of their conversation the woman, along with many in her town, are transformed. How did this happen? Their chat took place at a well, where both shared the common need of water. The first words out of Jesus’ mouth is a request that she give him something to drink- a need they both had. Their exchange took place around the human drive of thirst. Before Jesus could reach her, he connected with her.
Next level communicators understand before we can reach people, we must first connect with them. I don’t care how great your message is, if you fail to connect with your audience it will at best, land flat, if not outright bomb. Take it from me and the many eggs I have laid over the years- learn to first build bridges with your audience. Connect before you reach.
The best comedians get this. As a general rule, I encourage people who desire to grow in communication to study them, and one of the things you’ll learn is their amazing ability to connect with their audience. Watch as they will typically begin their sets by talking about the city they are in, things it's known for, and how they will use that to connect with their audience. Rarely will the best comedians just launch into their set. Effective comedians understand before they can reach, they must connect.
If you are a teacher you have a head start on this, as you walk into a classroom every day with the same students. Your effectiveness has grown because your understanding of your students has grown. You know their unique wirings, giftedness and quirks, and you use this information to enhance your connection with them. The same is true for pastors and their congregation. But this can turn against you the moment you are asked to give a presentation to another group. Beware of taking what has worked over time with one audience, and cut and paste that with the new one, without doing the work of connecting. You’ll be well on your way to handing out sleeping pills to your crowd.
Over the years, I have found the following helpful in building bridges to my audience:
Build bridges immediately. The moment I get up, I am looking to connect with the audience. Like right then. If I’m in Dallas, I’ll crack a joke about their football team. If I’m in Palm Springs in the summer, you better believe I’ll say something about the weather. When I preach at my home church in a few weeks, it’s guaranteed I’ll reminisce over the good times I had there. Nothing serious on this opening bridge, just something to say, “I see you.”
Build bridges constantly. We don’t want to build a bridge, but bridges, plural. The best way to do this is to ensure our talks use way more, “We’s,” than, “Me’s,” or “I’s”. In fact, every point in my talk, I want to connect. You can also do this by intentionally using a personal story of a time you failed that is connected to your talk. It’s been said when people share strengths they compete, but when they share weaknesses, they draw close in empathy (hear the idea of connection).
The most important bridge moment. Remember we said the most critical part of our talk is the felt need, which should happen not long after the introduction. While the opening moments of our message connect with the, “eyes,” grabbing their attention, the felt need moment should grab their “hearts”. This is where we are looking to connect the central message of our presentation with the audience. Look to capitalize on this moment. For example, some time ago, a passage in the bible I was preaching had the central message of hurt. I took this central message, and built a bridge to the human experience, where everyone could relate. The difference between a message that’s just blah, and a, “this is the best message I’ve ever heard,” is often found right here in the felt need portion, where we work to build a bridge and connect to our audience.
What I’m Reading:
Here’s a great vacation read I just finished:
