Next level communicators train their butterflies to fly in formation.
Next level communicators train their butterflies to fly in formation.
That’s not an original line from me- it comes from Edward R. Murrow who said, “The best speakers know enough to be scared…the only difference between the pros and the novices is that the pros have trained the butterflies to fly in formation”. Murrow is helping us to see not only the reality of butterflies but the beauty of butterflies. Nervous energy is as real as a butterfly on a cool spring day, and handled rightly can be a real help to us as communicators.
I don’t care how long you have been speaking, or how bad or good you are, we all deal with nerves. Mark Twain was not only a great writer, but a fantastic communicator who traveled the globe giving speeches. He once said, “There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.” Elvis Presley said he dealt with stage fright every single show. And our third president- Thomas Jefferson- was so overwhelmed by nerves he had someone else read his State of the Union address. So when you find yourself battling nerves, remember you are in good company.
But anxiousness is not only a common reality all of us as speakers deal with, it’s also a needed companion to assist us in giving our best talks. We understand at the core of our nervousness is a fear of failure, but used properly we can harness this energy to help us focus more. Just think about it- most of the crucial things we have experienced in life only came when we met our fears with an uncommon focus- when we trained our butterflies to fly in formation. I remember when I first approached Korie (my wife); talk about nerves! Or job interviews I’ve been on, or the times I had to make a pitch for a book idea to a publisher. All of these moments drove me to a level of attention and focus I would not have experienced if I didn’t have a sense of nervousness driven by the possibility of rejection. It was only when I faced my butterflies and forced them to fly in formation that I was able to be successful. And the same is true with public speaking.
So how do we train “the butterflies to fly in formation”? I have found the following habits to be successful in leveraging nervous energy to my benefit:
Get to know your audience. Standing before a group of strangers in an attempt to persuade them is a daunting task. If I don’t know you it’s easy to assume the worst. So what I have learned to do is to take a few minutes before I speak to talk to the people in the audience (If I’m speaking multiple times in the same venue, then I will also stand in a prominent place like a lobby after my talk to get to know the people as well). Getting to know their names, hear a bit about their background and to see their smiles helps to humanize the audience. Now when I stand to speak I feel as if I’ve made a few friends, and that goes a long way to dismantling any notion these strangers are out to get me. This little cheat code trains my butterflies to fly in formation.
Get to the venue early. Nothing will throw your butterflies into more chaos than if you are running behind schedule and find yourself rushing to get to the venue. I know you don’t like sound checks…neither do I. But the beauty of the sound check is not the sound check, but that it forces us to get there way in advance, giving us time to feel the room and to turn strangers into friends.
Know your stuff. Another major reason communicators nerves get the best of them is because they lack confidence with their content. I once spoke on a Saturday night to an NFL team. When I asked about the schedule for that evening, they told me after I spoke the team had a walk through, where they cleared out a ballroom in the hotel and went through the first dozen or so plays of the next day's game. They needed to know their content. For us as speakers, our walk through should be internalizing and maybe even rehearsing the message. One of my first communication professors always said, “Less scared when prepared.”
You’ve got way more experience than you realize. The average person says 15,000 words a day, which means you are already an experienced public speaker, who's been doing this for years. Telling yourself this will help the butterflies get in formation.
Get a workout in. I have found a brisk walk on the treadmill, or lifting weights a few hours before I speak goes a long way in training my butterflies. I don’t know all the science or fancy lingo behind all this, but there’s something about a good pre message sweat that helps me manage nerves.
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