Next level communicators always get to 5.
Next level communicators always get to 5.
Communication theorists tell us there are five levels of communication. Going from the most superficial to the most intimate they are:
Cliche
Facts
Opinions
Emotive
Transparency
When we say to someone, “Good morning,” or ask, “How are you doing,” that is cliche communication. It doesn’t mean it’s fake, but it’s more in the category of asking to be nice, or making a statement as a way of greeting. Facts are when we ask how many points a certain athlete scored, or what the weather will be today? Opinions are really popular in the GOAT debate between Michael Jordan and Lebron James, though I think that’s more in the category of fact! How in the world can anyone think Jordan isn’t the GOAT? I digress. The deepest levels of communication are emotive and transparency. Emotive is sharing how I feel, and transparency is sharing who I am.
Next level communicators always get to level five in their messages.
The difference between a good message and a great message all hinges on the question of transparency. Remember, our aim as communicators is to persuade…to move our audience in a certain direction, and if we try to do this without being authentic, genuine and transparent then we will come across as manipulative. The best way to persuade, the most potent weapon we have is transparency.
Before I give you some helpful tips about transparency, it’s important to understand that in a typical message you should hit all five levels of communication (or the “communication pyramid” as it's called). Think of a conversation you have with one of your closest friends, or your spouse after you’ve come back from a trip. You’ll begin with some greeting (cliche), move to what happened, what you liked or didn’t like or thought about the trip (facts and opinions). And since this is someone you feel safe with, you will express how you feel (emotive) and have moments of transparency. The communication pyramid is a significant indicator of the health of our relationships. Our most intimate friendships are those we get to levels four and five with. And our most effective talks are those where we get to levels four and five. We have to figure out a way to get to five, every time. So how do we do this?
I have found the following to be helpful in conveying a sense of authenticity to the audience:
Rehearse the message with loved ones. Newer communicators tend to struggle with being comfortable, and this is more than understandable. The problem is nerves can mask who we really are, and pose a barrier between the audience and our transparency. To get past this, go over your message with people you feel safe with. This will help bring out your authentic, transparent self.
Throw yourself under the bus, not your loved ones. Stages and microphones position us as experts, and tend to rob us of our humanity in the eyes of many in the audience. They give us superhero status, and it's easy for us to play the part, and this is a real problem when it comes to transparency. The way to work around this is to find strategic moments in the message where you say things like, “I struggle with this,” or, “I failed at this.” When we knock ourselves off the pedestal we lower the stage to ground level and communicate through our transparency that we are at one with our audience. But we’ve got to be careful to not do too much of this, or else we will rob ourselves of our influence. Remember, the audience is looking to us for answers.
Befriend the “ing”. Closely related to my previous point is this idea of befriending what I call the “ing”. Instead of saying things like, “I learned,” say, “I’m learning”. This communicates you are in process like everyone else, and helps to bring the audience along with you through your transparency.
Find your own voice. I know, I know. This is not something that happens overnight, but takes a while. All of us have been influenced by communicators we admire, and without even thinking about it we mimic their mannerisms. The sooner we can get out of this, the more we will be on the road to transparency. One of the most helpful things I can suggest to those of you who are in this phase is to stop watching and listening to this communicator. Listen to a lot of others, and over time you will find your voice, and become better positioned for transparency.
I need your help. If you’ve purchased my new book, Grace to Overcome, and have been encouraged by it, can you go to Amazon and write a favorable review? Thanks.
