Next level communicators listen way more than they talk.
Next level communicators listen way more than they talk.
As a fifty-three year old, I feel as if I am in my best season as a communicator, and I’ve thought a lot about why. Sure, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to get my reps in since I preached my first sermon almost thirty-six years ago. And yes, I’ve learned from some of the best, but as I have sat with the question in recent years as to why I am so much better today than I have ever been in my life (still with lots of room for improvement), I’m convinced the answer is found in my commitment to listen to the right voices. Next level communicators have learned to listen to two major voices, but before we get to those, let’s chat about a voice we listen to which will stunt our growth, and that is ourselves.
By default, we communicators will center ourselves when it comes to preparing and delivering a message. We each have a specific vantage point of life, formed by our gender, ethnicity, class, culture, experiences, lack of experiences and a host of other things. And when we are the only ones we listen to, our ability to connect to those different from us in the audience will be hindered. The sooner you come to terms with your limitations and biases, the better positioned you will be to see past them. No, don’t hear me to say we should not listen to ourselves, but we should not be the only ones we listen to.
Next level communicators have learned to listen to these two additional voices:
Listen to life. We have an advantage as presenters athletes don’t have- right when athletes are falling off the proverbial cliff, we are getting better. Athletes age like milk; communicators age like wine. Sorry athletes. Just the other day I heard one of the most powerful messages on legacy, and it was given by a seventy-six year old man. There was a wisdom, an ethos about him which held the room, and all of this came about because he had listened to life. He spoke to us from his successes and failures. Marriage and parenting should teach you something, and so should your journey as a single adult. Your growth in compassion, the cancer diagnosis you navigated, the funerals you sat in, along with a host of other things should be forming you into a speaker who can connect in one message with people standing on mountains and walking through valleys. Life tenderizes and helps to buff the rough edges off, allowing us to communicate from the heart. But…just because you’ve lived and listened to life, does not mean you will be a great communicator; it’s all about how you respond. As we age we will trend towards sweet or salty, compassionate or cynical. So don’t just listen to life, but lean in and truly glean from her lessons in a way which betters you.
Listen to people. The blessing and curse of our profession is we talk way more than we should. We must learn to listen to people outside of ourselves. The wealthy have something to teach me, and so do older, younger and women. I also need to listen and engage with people who live lifestyles I don’t agree with. How can I truly challenge people who live and think different from me, if I never listen and learn how they see and process things? It’s been said the problem with the church is they are asking questions no one is asking any more. Sad but true. By far, the most talked about series of messages I have ever given was a series called, Our Gay Neighbor. Before I began the series, I asked, “Hey, if you are living in the gay lifestyle and are comfortable sharing your story with me, I’d love to meet you.” This was the early two-thousands in Memphis, Tennessee, so I was shocked when a dozen or so people jammed into my office. Now almost twenty years later, that series is still talked about not because I listened to myself or the text alone, but because I listened to people actually engaged in that life. Writing those messages forced me to see faces, and I saw those faces because I heard their voices. No, listening to other people doesn’t change my biblical convictions, but it does allow me to connect and grow as a communicator.
What I’m Reading:
Hope in Times of Fear: The Resurrection and the Meaning of Easter, by Tim Keller.
